|
Doomed Fulci-Thon: 18 Movies, 2 Days, 1 Director by Richard Of DM ---------------------------------------------------------- After about 5 hours of sleep, I woke up enough to jot down my concluding remarks on Day 1. As you can see from my writing, I was still quite enamored with Fulci even after a marathon of 9 movies in 16 hours. The elation caused by a near constant ingestion of Italian horror films carried over into the next day and would invigorate me enough to complete the task at hand. Sure I was groggy but luckily I saved a large chunk of unseen (by me) Fulci as well as my top five favorites for the finale. People, witness the Day 2. Doomed Fulci-Thon Day 2 11:50am
10. Massacre Time (1966) – Eagle Pictures DVD (from Xploited Cinema) Finally, some George Hilton in the Fulci-Thon! Produced the same year as the wildly popular Django, Massacre Time is a side of Fulci I have certainly never seen before. Woops, sped-up fight scene! Watching this film and trying to distinguish it from other spaghetti westerns of the time period is difficult (at least with the first viewing). Lucky for me, it’s an action-packed flick with cool shootouts and two amazing actors as the leads: Hilton and the great Franco Nero. The main villain of Massacre Time is played by Nino Castelnuovo (of Strip Nude For Your Killer) and he goes all out in his portrayal of the evil Jason ‘Junior’ Scott who becomes nearly orgasmic while he is committing evil deeds. George Hilton really steals the show here as the perpetually drunk Jeff Corbett. One scene-stealing moment includes Hilton putting a cigar out on a bad guy’s face. Fulci-holics will notice that the face belongs to actor Romano Puppo of Contraband (where he played yet another un-credited thug). Massacre Time is an excellent Sunday afternoon Spaghetti Western and I’ll be more than happy to return to it in the future. Read my full review of the DVD
Lunch time, folks. The greatest wife in the world picked me up a falafel with hummus which I washed down with Mountain Splash. Delightful to eat while watching Franco Nero getting whipped in the face repeatedly (too bad it wasn’t with chains). 1:25pm
11. Aenigma (1987) – Image Entertainment DVD How unfortunate that we come to Aenigma to find it to be the first and only real disappointment of the Fulci-Thon. I think my hopes were set too high for this one and I have a hard time explaining exactly what I don’t like about it. Slow pacing is definitely a hindrance here. Even worse, the film reminds me of some of the other late 80s Italian horror output and it also reminds me of some of the straight-to-video junk that plagued the market here in the States. I can’t help but think Fulci toned things down to reach the international markets. I’m not saying that Aenigma isn’t a fun horror film and it does that have that gross snail attack. There’s a few good moments with some severed head malfeasance and occasionally decent photography. Ah, forget it. I need to watch this one again to really get my bearings on it.
3:10pm
12. Touch Of Death (1989) – Shriek Show DVD
Yes! Now that’s what I’m talking about! Touch Of Death puts
Aenigma to shame instantly. Now in terms of gore this is an
8 on the Goopy Meter but it’s the often offensive and twisted dark humor
that abounds here. The film slows down a bit towards the end but it
delivers on the eccentricity big time. Brett Halsey is all over his role
as the twisted cannibalistic sociopath, Lester Parson. The fact that all
of his victims are UGLY rich widows gets quite a few sick laughs as so
many horror movies provide only the most gorgeous ladies to be fodder for
the killer. Zora Kerova (Antropophagus,
New York Ripper) with a huge herpes sore on her lip is truly
a transcendent Italian horror film moment in my eyes. Speaking of eyes,
watching a woman’s eye pop out of its socket as she is repeatedly beaten
with a club never hurt anybody. My question to you, dear reader, what is
the likelihood that Fulci tried this before in The House By The
Cemetery but the scene never made the final cut? Take a close look
at Dagmar Lassander after she meets her fate in that film and try and tell
me that the end result isn’t almost identical. Ah! Thank you, Fulci!
5:05pm
“Your stupid face is putting me off my breakfast.” 13. Voices From Beyond (1991) - EC Entertainment DVD (from Xploited Cinema)
Another surprise from the last of the unseen Fulci batch. The director’s
second to last film before he passed away is actually quite good despite
its rocky start. I really liked Duilio Del Prete (The Sensuous Nurse)
performance as the Mainardi family matriarch, Giorgio. His character is
well-written and the actor never misses a beat. Karina Huff (of
House Of Clocks) plays Rosy Mainardi, the only member of the
family that isn’t a complete piece of shit and the only one interested in
finding the secret behind her father’s mysterious death. Dig that awesome
(yet wildly corny) electronic score by Stelvio Cipriani. Goopy Meter hits
6 this time around for some dreamy eye violence, a brief autopsy sequence,
Giorgio’s rotting corpse, and some impromptu zombie action. I’m still
awfully curious about
Door To Silence being that it is
Fulci’s last film. Anyway, we’ll get that one next Fulci-Thon.
6:35pm
“Maybe you shouldn’t have married a clairvoyant.” 14. Seven Notes In Black (1977) – Alfa Digital DVD (from Xploited Cinema) Aha! I just saw some more of those overly bright crime scene lights. Do all Italian cops carry floodlights? DO THEY!?! Moving right along… I wonder if Jennifer O’Neill really has psychic abilities. Anyway, this is definitely a Fulci masterpiece sans the extreme gore that the rest of the Fulci-Thon will be serving up. Seven Notes In Black, a Giallo with a vast amount of technical ability pushing the film along as the story circles around several times to hammer home Virginia’s déjà vu. Despite its repetitious web of recurrent imagery (and overworking zoom lens) this film is still quite entertaining. And besides, if you can’t groove to the love song, “With You”, then there’s just no hope. Read my full review of the DVD
J&B Shots:
Ah, pizza break. We ordered pizza from an undisclosed location and it was quite tasty. I followed it up with an amazing Joya De Nicaragua cigar (I wish they were our sponsor) and an energy drink. Enough decadence! We are in the home stretch here people. Begin the quadruple zombie attack. 9:20pm
15. Zombie (1979) – Blue Underground DVD
Let’s look at the facts, shall we? Shark vs. boat. Shark wins. Shark vs.
zombie. Shark wins. Sorry to say this folks, but Zombie (AKA
Zombi 2) is the greatest zombie movie of all time! Olga
Karlatos loses an eye and we all win. Finally, a film wet and sloppy
enough to get a 10 on the Goopy Meter. Our pal Al Cliver kicks undead ass
and the rarely seen and rarely clothed Auretta Gay gets her throat torn
out like it’s nobody’s business. Enough supporting players, let’s talk
about the heavies. The screen nearly sizzles with the “chemistry” between
Tisa Farrow and Scottish-born actor Ian McCulloch (Zombie Holocaust).
Dang it, another Fulci Cameo just reminds me of a missed opportunity for
another rule in the drinking game. Oh well, live and learn. Or live, die,
raise from the dead, and learn. Wow, just think of all the HGTV I’m
missing because of this. Focus!
10:55pm
16. City Of The Living Dead (1980) – Anchor Bay DVD And thus begins the Catriona MacColl triple feature. Where can I get me an automatically inflating love doll? Why is John-John running towards us? Another Fulci Cameo? Another 10 on the Goopy Meter? Geez, I can’t believe I ever doubted this movie’s awesomeness. It’s true, City Of The Living Dead used to rank pretty low in my Fulci favorites but no longer. This movie is so damn weird that it’s hard to know which way is up? You know why? Because there is no way up! We’re all going to Hell thanks to Father Thomas (Fabrizio Jovine, again!). Way to go, padre! So many good things about this movie. Daniela Doria vomiting up her intestines deserves a shot of J&B… Next time, I promise. For some gut-wrenching nastiness and more supernatural chicanery than the town of Dunwich can handle, I insist that you see this movie ASAP.
12:25am
“Attack, Dicky, attack!” 17. The Beyond (1981) – Anchor Bay DVD Excuse me, Argento. Move over, Bava. I present to you, the quintessential Italian horror film. Am I that exhausted? Am I that inebriated? Do I dare forget Suspiria? Oh oh. So yeah, for some reason I thought City Of The Living Dead was weird. Nope. It ain't got nothin' on this one. From the fake tarantula attack to the unrequited love of Joe and Martha to a well placed sign that reads “DO NOT ENTRY”, The Beyond is all over the goddamn place. For the third time the Goopy Meter hits 10 due to the unrelenting gore and Fulci’s refusal to leave people’s eyeballs alone. Catriona MacColl returns again with only one adversary in the hotness battle: Cinzia Monreale (Beyond The Darkness). Oh, sorry Catriona but I have a thing for lost souls. He’s not much with a revolver but he commands his El Camino like a man’s man, the late great David Warbeck is our hero. Events repeat themselves, logic is completely abandoned, and a woman’s face is melted off while her daughter watches helplessly. Why? Because this is fucking Fulci-Thon, baby.
J&B Shots:
The wife has escaped! She’s safely asleep in bed while the cats and I still have one more to go. The House By The Cemetery must begin. Holy shit, I’m bouncing off the walls now. 2:00am
“Blood! Blood! Not only blood! His voice! I hear it! I hear it everywhere!” 18. House By The Cemetery (1981) – Anchor Bay DVD
I have a tough time explaining why this film is my
favorite Fulci movie but here’s the best I can do in short: The
House By The Cemetery represents every single half-remembered
horror movie I ever stumbled upon in the middle of the night as a kid (see
My Doomed
Moviethon to have some light shed on this revelation).
There, that’ll work for now. Did I mention that this film infects my brain
like no other, destroying every rational brain cell in its path? Okay,
okay, I’m over it. The Catriona MacColl triptych is now complete and hey
look, another Fulci Cameo! There’s a superb amount of mysterious glances
from Ann (Ania Pieroni), the most suspicious babysitter in the world, and
the fact that Norman (Paolo Malco) suffers from everyone else’s déjà vu
creates questions that are never, ever answered. Ever. So what? We’ve got
impossibly claustrophobic conditions (hey, let’s NOT go down into the
basement), another fake bat attack, Dagmar Lassander gets killed real
good, and Dr. Freudstein proves that you don’t need matching arms to tear
someone’s throat out. I can think of no better way to end this experience.
Goodnight, Bob.
Doomed Fulci-Thon Day 2: Concluding Remarks
Ohhhhhhhh, doctor! I invented a new drinking game:
Take a shot whenever you feel like it during The House By The
Cemetery. It was just me (sitting on the floor about 4 feet from
the television), my notepad, the J&B, Fulci, and Catriona MacColl
screaming and screaming and screaming. I recommend that everyone spend a
couple days (around 36 hours for me) ingesting their favorite director’s
works. All right, you made it this far, time to wrap things up, eh? Thanks.
|
