Doomed Movieblog

Fair Game
AKA Desolation Angels
Directed By Christopher Fitchett
Released: 1982
Starring: Kim Trengove, Kerry Mack, Marie O’Loughlin, and Karen West
Running Time: 88 minutes

This unfairly obscure Australian thriller is equal parts highway terror and home invasion. Three teenage girls take off for a weekend to a resort town in its off season but they’re good times are interrupted by a group of murderous psychos. A fight to the death ensues between the girls and the psychos. (Why did that take two sentences?) Released as Desolation Angels in its home country, Fair Game is not to be confused with the similarly-titled Aussie film released in 1986 (which I’m eager to see as well).

An excellent cast, a strong sense of foreboding, a cool synthesizer soundtrack, and some very fluid camerawork all help to make Fair Game a fine little film. The only missteps are some day for night nonsense and the song “My Baby” by Cold Chisel showing up in the soundtrack. The director knows how to build a fine amount of tension and luckily, it all pays off handsomely in a violent (though not particularly gory) climax. According to this film, Australia is a weird and horrid place. No one should ever go there.

She should have gone walkabout.

Were HOTBOD and PLAYA1 already taken?

Fear the New Wave.

Here is Australia’s own Cold Chisel performing “My Baby”:

1976, the year of my birth. I’m going to turn back the clock this weekend and watch the horrors from that magical year. The only catch is that I can’t have seen any of the films before. So, Carrie, The Omen, and Burnt Offerings are out! Hell, even the greatest film from that year or any other year is off my list. Of course, I’m talking about Werewolf Woman. Needless to say, I’m pretty dang psyched about this one.

Here’s the playlist for tonight and Saturday (not in order):

The Creature From The Black Lake
Mansion Of The Doomed
Mako: The Jaws Of Death
The Food Of The Gods
Naked Massacre
Drive-In Massacre
Land Of The Minotaur
A Whisper In The Dark
The Confessional
The Clown Murders
Who Can Kill A Child?
Embryo
Death At Love House

As you may have noticed, that list should be a whole lot longer. The thing is, I tried to spend as little money on this excursion as possible. Think of this as the bargain bin finds of 1976 horror movies. And besides, 13 is an appropriate number of titles for a moviethon. And there’s always part two. It’s sad that I’m already planning the second 1976 moviethon, isn’t it?

Here are some trailers of the flicks that didn’t make the cut.

Massacre At Central High

The Town That Dreaded Sundown

The Little Girl Who Lives Down The Lane

Crypt Of Dark Secrets

To The Devil A Daughter

Panic
AKA Bakterion
Directed By Tonino Ricci
Released: 1982
Starring: David Warbeck, Janet Argen
Running Time: 90 minutes
DVD Studio: Mill Creek

A scientist experimenting on rats gets turned into a murderous monster for some reason and it’s up to his lab assistant Jane (Janet Argen) and a police captain (David Warbeck) to stop him. Or something like that. I was confused as to whether or not the guy is contagious. The government is bent on destroying the city if Captain Kirk (that’s Warbeck’s character by the way) doesn’t stop the mutated scientist in time, so maybe he was contagious. Although, all our monster really does in the movie is drink blood, melt skin, and molest women to death.

It’s great to see David Warbeck of The Beyond kicks some ass (as usual) in a thankless role in a pitiful movie. Speaking of thankless roles, Swedish beauty Janet Argen, of City Of The Living Dead and Eaten Alive, is particularly stiff and confused in this film but it’s still nice to see her. Direction and photography are both very dull though there are a couple of decent shots scattered throughout the movie. This is all topped off with redundant dialogue, a confusing and pathetic plot, and Ed Woodian moments such as when the government talks about resorting to “Plan Q”.

Panic is only for the most desperate of Eurohorror fans and even they will be disappointed. Supposedly filmed in 1976 and then shelved until 1982; either way, this film is a real snoozer. Sadly, the Mill Creek DVD has all the nude scenes cut out so the film could be potentially spicier in an uncut form. But fortunately, it looks like the gore is intact but don’t expect anything really remarkable. There’s some goopiness and a lot of blood but not enough for gorehounds to go out of their way for. Panic truly is one of the most pitiful Italian horror films I’ve ever seen.

A dubbed David Warbeck is still David Warbeck.

Janet Argen is feathered.

Eww! Can we get a closer look at that?

Eww! Thanks.

Whoa, haunting. How the hell am I gonna sleep tonight?

All of these little gems were in theaters in that magical year.

So I have this very miserable looking copy of Giorgio Ferroni’s Night Of The Devils that I’ve been sitting on for a number of years. I have refused to watch it for so long because the quality is just so dang pitiful. Well, I finally broke down and rocked this weird little horror flick. The quality wasn’t as bad as I feared in that I survived watching it without giving up or getting a migraine.

I’ve converted the VHS to a DVDR so it won’t degrade anymore (until the disc wears out). Oh yeah, my copy is scratchy and jumpy making the screen seem to pulse while the film plays. Also, the audio is wickedly muddled making the dialogue (in English) and the soundtrack distort almost to the breaking point.

And now, some screenshots to show you just how fun my copy is to watch:

Right off the bat, things look a little sketchy.

I see a maggot-ridden skull. Okay, that’s good.

God bless daytime scenes. I can see Gianni Garko!

Gah! Good thing I don’t need to read those subs.

Demonic children? Maybe. I can barely see them.

This is what I and a million other film fans have been battling with for years. Collecting obscure European (mostly Italian) horror flicks will lead you down some painful roads. But that’s just a testament to our love for genre film. We’re pretty much a big gang of desperate film stalkers and ravenous movie scavengers (with low standards). So if you’re reading this and you are the person who owns the rights to Night Of The Devils then could you please hand them over to a decent DVD company? I don’t care who does it, as long as the dang movie gets restored and is presented in an uncut form. Seriously, duder, I will buy the heck out of it.

Here is a clip from Night Of The Devils (wish my copy looked this good):

I don’t know how interesting this is but dang it, I was amused! I grabbed my copy of Terror On Tape to see what interesting horror titles I still haven’t gotten around to watching yet. Just for kicks, I started writing down the films I’d originally highlighted when I bought the book a few years ago. Well, it turned into a God damned project! I started filling up sheets and sheets of notebook paper with all these horror flicks I have yet to find. The list below is just the A’s. Some the titles below aren’t listed in IMDB as horror but I’m siding with the book.

Absolution (1978)

All-American Murder(1992)

The Ambulance (1990)

Amsterdamned (1988)

And Soon The Darkness (1970)

An Angel For Satan (1966)

Anguish (1987)

Apartment Zero (1989)

Apology (1986)

The Appointment (1980)

The Arousers (1973)

The Arrival (1991)

The Art Of Dying (1991)

The Asphyx (1973)

Assault (1971)

Asylum (1972)

The Avenger (1960)

Axe (1977)

So on it goes… My quest for every dang horror movie on Earth has a long, long way to go. Because, if you think about it, this is just from one book published in 1994! There are an unlimited number of titles left to find. The thought of a mountain of horror goodness that’s out there, just waiting to be watched, is kind of dang exhilarating. It just goes to show you what a hopeless loser I am. Oh, thank you, sweet gods of nerd.

Oh yeah buy yourself a copy of Terror On Tape ASAP.

Xtro
Directed By Harry Bromley Davenport
Released: 1983
Starring: Philip Sayer, Bernice Stegers, Danny Brainin, and Maryam d’Abo
Running Time: 84 minutes

Director Davenport’s Xtro is an excessively goopy film filled with outrageous and inventive makeup effects and relentlessly nasty gore setpieces. The film also sports some great photography and superb lighting. The simple plot of a father returning years after being abducted by aliens to take his son back with him to his new home planet is helped by the total absurdity of the many dreamlike scenes that never stop coming. When young Tony’s toys start coming to life to carry out his every horrific whim, you know you’re in for a very weird treat.

The cast is quite good with the exception of Danny Brainin who plays Rachel’s new man. The guy is just really awkward, dull, unconvincing, and doesn’t hold a candle to the two leads, (the late) Philip Sayer and Bernice Stegers (of Lamberto Bava’s Macabre). Even Tony, played by 10 year old, Simon Nash, puts in a good and creepy performance. Another fine performer is the guy in the alien costume. The creative and clever makeup accentuates this actor’s unique frame and bizarre movements perfectly.

Okay, how in the hell did I miss this trippy flick until now? You’d think that my prolific VHS renting back in the day would have lead to me to Xtro. But no, the video stores that I frequented (Video-X-Tron, in particular) didn’t have this wacked out flick on their shelves. I was reading this issue of Fangoria with Xtro on the cover recently and I knew it was time to check it out. I recommend this film to any horror fan who can’t let go of the 1980s and wants something really gross to pass the time. The campy matte effects and a lame synth score (by the director himself!) can’t slow this one down.

I’ve always thought something was off in Mario Bava’s superb experimental horror film, Lisa And The Devil, when Sofia (played by the luscious Sylva Koscina) is bludgeoned to death. It always seemed awkward and cut strangely as though the scene had been censored. Well, according to author and Mario Bava expert Tim Lucas’s audio commentary on the Anchor Bay DVD, it was from director Mario Bava’s own self-imposed censorship. Lucas says that the director himself wanted to scale back the violence of this scene.

Luckily for us gorehounds, the scene is extended and all the more graphic in The House Of Exorcism. To make a long story short: the production company shelved Lisa And The Devil until a year later when scenes were filmed to capitalize on the popularity of The Exorcist. Thus, the weird (and pretty terrible) House Of Exorcism was born. This film is an entirely exploitative effort filled with extra shots of nudity and violence. I now have both versions of what is essentially the same film except one of them has Elke Sommer vomiting up a frog. When comparing the same scene in both films, I was quite happy to see Sofia’s bloody fate uncut as well as surprised by how nasty it was.

And now, a few bloody images from the extended scene for your enjoyment!

(Don’t worry, I don’t reveal the killer’s identity.)

Sofia knows she’s in trouble.

Hands don’t fail me now.

Staff to the head!

The aftermath of all that bludgeoning.

And zoom in! (Look. The end of the staff is stuck in her dang head!)

The Countess (played by Alida Valli) is already at the scene.

I wasn’t touching it.

Sorry to keep beating you over the head with this gory business.

Suddenly, Elke Sommer’s hilarious revulsion face makes sense.

I kind of understand that Bava probably wasn’t in a very gory mood after the ridiculously bloody Twitch Of The Death Nerve released a year before Lisa And The Devil. Now I know that this scene doesn’t make the film any better. How could it? But you can bet that one day I’ll be editing my own version of the movie with the shots of the very wet and chunky fate of Sofia put in where they should be.

Finally! The werewolf moviethon is finally done and it is clawing its way toward you with a frothy mouth as we speak. 12 horror movies were conquered. Unfortunately, my health and well being were both conquered as well. Maybe I should sprinkle some wheat germ on my meat lover’s pizza next time. Have a wonderful day!

Ah, back to the old bookshelf. Out of all my film books, the ones on Italian genre cinema are my absolute favorites. Unfortunately, I have yet to obtain many of the best of this group but I think I’m doing okay so far. I’m still unable to articulate what it is about Italian horror films that makes them so dang special. So until I can, I must keep adding to my library.

Profondo Argento by Alan Jones

It’s hard not to get sucked into the wacky world of Dario Argento and this book surely doesn’t help me resist. Some of the most eye-opening moments of this massive book take place in the interviews where Argento’s family and collaborators give their observations of the director. I was actually surprised to find that Dario Argento is kind of a dick. His ability to absorb ideas and take credit for other people’s work is kind of alarming. Yet the guy is just so bizarre and lovable in other ways that the negative stories just make him seem that much more awesome.

My only criticisms are about the reviews and the set visits. Many of the reviews were written when the films were originally released and some seem a little short sighted. Many of Argento’s films were blasted by his own fanbase when they were released only to be accepted with open arms later and it really shows here. Set visits really aren’t my cup of tea and these tend to be a little sycophantic. Other than my wee bit of nitpicking, I must say that you can’t really go wrong with this fascinating and beautiful book.

Beyond Terror: The Films Of Lucio Fulci by Stephen Thrower

Now we’re talkin’! I can’t rave about this book enough and not just because Lucio Fulci is my favorite Italian horror director. Beyond Terror is truly an essential item for Fulci fans. This huge book goes through the majority of the director’s films while placing them in the context of how they fit into Italian genre cinema at the time. Stephen Thrower weighs each film fairly and examines them thoroughly. If a film is terrible (and several are), the author will say so while trying to point out any positive points that he can.

While it only provides a small amount of biographical information, the book still gets pretty sad while discussing the final years of Fulci’s life and film work. Thrower paints the director as a misunderstood and pigeonholed artist whose career took a nosedive much too early due to his poor health and the failing Italian movie business of the late 80s/early 90s. However, much like Argento, Fulci also had a tremendous ego and was known for taking credit for ideas that weren’t his own as well as berating his actors on set. Woops, can’t win ‘em all. Anyway, just buy this dang book.

Spaghetti Nightmares Luca Palmerini and Gaetano Mistretta

Why does book make me feel dirty? This is one of the first Italian horror film books I ever saw and it just seemed so dang cheap to me. After re-examining it recently, I see that it is actually a great little resource. There are tons of interviews with directors, producers, and familiar faces from Italian horror including Daria Nicolodi, Dario Argento, Umberto Lenzi, Lamberto Bava, and many others. Maybe there are some translation issues but I just can’t stop thinking about how odd this book is. There is a very comprehensive title list at the back of the book to help you get started finding films but you’ll need an Italian-English dictionary for that section.

Blood And Black Lace by Adrian Luther Smith

What a fantastic book! This badass British book is loaded with gialli. It is the most complete compendium of the genre that I’ve seen so far. This book just never gets old for me and it is a fine resource for those who love their yellow films. I guess my only problems with the book are the absence of any text whatsoever on the spine and the not-so-great binding will probably give out pretty quickly. But yeah, you must own this if you are a giallo enthusiast like myself.

Italian Horror by Jim Harper

This sweet little number examines Italian horror films between 1979 and 1994. While Jim Harper’s book looks at the works of bigger names like Fulci, Argento, and Umberto Lenzi from that era, it also has reviews of some really obscure titles. The only gripe I have is how critical Harper is in his reviews. It is tough to find anything the guy likes in the whole book. For those of you who have an indiscriminate love of Italian horror movies, you might some scathing shots taken at some of your favorites. All in all, a great book that I reach for frequently.

Giallo Scrapbook 2 by Nigel J. Burrell and Paul J. Brown

I am now officially punching myself in face for not grabbing the first volume of Giallo Scrapbook (now out of print) when I had the chance. Holy shit, this is a wonderful little book with around 40 well written giallo film reviews in it. The book’s design is also extremely gorgeous with full color images on nearly every page and lots of garish blood splatters to feast your eyes on. This one will definitely leave you wanting more so I can only hope that there will be a volume 3 soon. Be sure you go over to Xploited Cinema and buy yourself a copy before this volume goes out of print.

A Violent Professional: The Films Of Luciano Rossi by Kier-la Janisse

I really wanted to write a book about the late Luciano Rossi, one of the greatest Italian character actors of all time, but someone friggin’ beat me to it. Author Janisse is clearly in love with her favorite actor and the book shines because of it. The biographical information is good but could have been more thorough for me. However, the reviews and details of Rossi’s film appearances are quite meticulous. If this very interesting looking fellow has ever caught your eye in a crime film or a giallo, then I’m sure you’ll be psyched to find out just how many odd bit parts and cameos he churned out during his day. As cheesy as this sounds, just wait until you get a load of the rating system Janisse uses to judge how cute Rossi was in each role. Genius!

Other Recommended Titles (that I wish I owned):

Italian Horror Directors by Louis Paul
Italian Horror Films Of The 1960s by Lawrence Mccallum
La Dolce Morte by Mikel J. Koven
Eaten Alive! Italian Cannibal and Zombie Movies by Jay Slater
Art Of Darkness: The Cinema Of Dario Argento by Chris John Gallant