Beverly Hills 90210 - “Halloween”
In order to properly celebrate Halloween (30 days ahead of schedule), I must examine the Halloween episode from the second season of Beverly Hills 90210. Oh, there’s a new 90210? I don’t care. I’ll never care. You can put as many original cast members you want in it, the only thing I care about is the original. I was a closeted 90210 fan back in the day. I would make fun of the show in front of my friends but the truth is, I never missed an episode.
The episode titled “Halloween” aired on October 31st, 1991 (when I was 15) and it has always been one of my favorites. Is it scary? Well, not really. It’s just kind of there. Although things did get a little scary for Kelly who dresses like a trollop to a Halloween party and nearly gets raped by a douche college duder. But that’s just a small part of this monumentally bad episode.
Of course there’s David and his soon-to-shoot-himself-accidentally buddy Scott who show up for an egg fight that never happens. They spend the entire evening reminiscing about when they were kids and how much it sucks to grow up. It is all very sad and sweet but also terrible and stupid. Anyway…
My whole reason for loving this episode and pretty much why I’m obsessed with this show is Emily Valentine. She’s the “bad girl” who steals Brandon’s heart and gives him drugs but that’s a different episode. She’s also the one who trashes the homecoming float and nearly immolates herself with gas but that’s another episode as well.
Emily Valentine was played by actress Christine Elise (of Child’s Play 2) who got the short end of the stick on 90210. She had one of the best written characters but unfortunately, she never became a regular cast member. In “Halloween” she is babysitting her cousins and makes a stop at the Walsh house where Mrs. Walsh is handing out raisins instead of actual Halloween candy.
Brandon does his traditional “scaring the trick or treaters” routine. He throws on a black cape, puts some cheap vampire teeth in his mouth, and pathetically tries to frighten kids. The guy is priceless. But oh lookie look Brandon, look who’s here? It’s the girl you like. OMG, how embarrassment can you get?!?! This kind of scene makes me stomach lurch (in a good way).
Brandon and Emily go out with her cousins but they’re really irresponsible and lose the kids in two seconds. They spend some very harrowing moments looking for them but they just went back to the Walsh house. Everything’s gonna be okay, so let’s make out. Kissy kissy! Okay, I might be imagining that last part.
I’m kind of shocked that I was attracted to Christina Elise at this point in her career. Her hair looks brittle and very boyish. Maybe that says something about me. Yikes. From her pictures on IMDB, I’d say that she has moved on from that look and is looking hot. And judging from watching more and more of this show, I don’t think anyone looked good in the 90s.
Okay, this is absolutely terrible. What a hideous Halloween episode but I guess I had to start somewhere. So there’s no supernatural nonsense or even a creepy dream sequence. There is some Afterschool Special-type poignancy in the almost-rape of Kelly and some great comic relief with mullet Steve as Zorro and Donna as a mermaid but damn, this just blows.
October 31st isn’t Halloween. OCTOBER IS HALLOWEEN. Thank you, Brandon.