Cult movies

More Brains! A Return to the Living Dead

More Brains! A Return to the Living Dead (2011)

For personal reasons, Return of the Living Dead disturbs me greatly but I still love it. More Brains! A Return to the Living Dead is a documentary on the making of the classic and influential 1985 zombie punk rock splatterfest. The documentary is also therapeutic and a proven psychiatric tool for me because it helped me to first realize and then to conquer my fears of ROTLD.

This documentary is a charming, funny, and nostalgic look at the production with outrageous and sometimes painful stories from the cast and crew. The hilarious true story surrounding Linnea Quigley’s genital-obscuring latex plug (their term, not mine) alone is worth the price of admission. More Brains! also has a huge amount of production stills and home video taken on the set which really gives one the feel for what it was like to be a part of the making of the film.

If you love Return of the Living Dead, if you hate Return of the Living Dead, or if you’ve never even seen Return of the Living Dead, this documentary will still be fascinating for you. This is one of the most comprehensive documentaries on a film I’ve ever seen and I think the DVD is absolutely essential for fans of the film. My therapist says that More Brains! is responsible for all the progress I’ve made in the last few days and that he refuses to accept any more of my money. Now that is one powerful documentary.

Mad Ron’s Prevues from Hell

Mad Ron’s Prevues from Hell (1987)

Two zombies walk into a movie theater- stop me if you’ve heard this one before. Hey gang, Mad Ron (Ron Roccia) is chained to the projector and is playing all of his favorite horror trailers! So sit back and enjoy the show. Our hosts Nick Pawlow and his zombie pal Happy Goldsplatt, are here with some ghastly jokes and ghoulish quips -uh oh- what’s that? It seems like those two zombies brought along their undead pals and things are getting out of control. Um, maybe you shouldn’t sit back too far, the ghouls in the back row aren’t content with their bloody popcorn anymore.

This movie makes me so angry! Where the hell was Mad Ron’s Prevues from Hell when I needed it the most? I was 11 years old when this hit VHS and I realize that missing out on it stunted my horror growth. This compilation of trailers with its cheesy hosts and gory goofiness plus my steady diet of junk food and thrash metal could have made me into a horror man instead of the horror boy that I am today.

The collection of trailers here are perfect for a sleazy good time. Selections like the standard Texas Chainsaw Massacre are here alongside the more obscure picks like (the “stomach shocker of your life”) The Ghastly Ones, The Diabolical Doctor Z, and Mad Doctor of Blood Island. Of course, Lady Frankenstein is here which is always good for a devious grin and oh man, the trailer for Love Me Deadly is a dang riot. Also, the trailer for the double feature, I Drink Your Blood/I Eat Your Skin, is here and it is simply perfect.

The only thing that got on my nerves are the inclusion of Man from Deep River featuring real animal violence and Africa – Blood and Guts which features real human and animal violence. I know a lot of horror folks don’t bat an eyelash at these things but I personally count them as a detraction from the entertainment value of Prevues from Hell. Who is a wet blanket? Me!

So if you like your trailers wet and sloppy, then check this out. The interruptions from the hosts are pretty amusing (in a kitschy eye-rolling, ironic knee-slapping kind of way) and they come bearing gifts: dozens of classic trailers, gory setpieces, and goofy zombie antics. Mad Ron’s Prevues from Hell is a perfect party favor when you have some fiends over with short attention spans and a lust for trash.

The Devil Within Her (1975)

Ex-stripper Lucy Carlesi (played by Joan Collins) has just given birth to a healthy baby boy named Nicholas. The newborn has incredible strength and is prone to violence causing Lucy to believe the child is possessed, possibly by Satan himself. Of course, no one (including her husband, Gino (Ralph Bates)) believes her but what they don’t know is that Hercules, a dwarf (George Claydon) from her strip club days, placed a curse on Lucy’s firstborn child because she wouldn’t return his affections. Despite his best efforts, Dr. Finch (Donald Pleasence) cannot determine what is causing the child to exhibit such horrible behavior. As mysterious “accidents” continue to happen to those taking care of Nicholas, Lucy’s sister-in-law, Sister Albana (Eileen Atkins), believes that the child’s problems are more than just scientific.

Peter Sasdy, director of Hammer entries such as Taste the Blood of Dracula and Hands Of the Ripper, brings this transcendentally trashy Joan Collins vehicle to the screen. Even though The Devil Within Her is a tasteless The Exorcist and Rosemary’s Baby-inspired romp, the talent behind the cinematography, lighting, and editing are all competent. Veteran film and TV composer, Ron Grainer (The Omega Man), provides the excellently surf/prog/pop score that seems to have been written for an entirely different movie. So that leaves us with plot. Oh doctor! The plot is unbelievably insipid as evidenced by the gratuitous sex scene between Bates and Collins (character development!). The life-draining script crashes and burns so often that even the actors actually look stunned reciting it.

It really shows the dedication of the cast to put up with all this crap. The faith vs. science debate between Dr. Finch and Sister Albana is quite inspired considering the horrible dialogue. As usual, Donald Pleasence can deliver anything with unshakable sincerity. Even Eileen Atkins (Equus, Cold Comfort Farm) is able to lend her incredible talent to this drivel. I recommend putting this entire scene on mute and imagining something inspiring.

It’s hard to get around Ralph Bates’ (Lust for a Vampire) awkward pseudo-Italian accent to tell if he’s actually giving a good performance here. I wanted to see more of Caroline Munro (Maniac) as Lucy’s stripper buddy, Mandy, but there wasn’t much for her character to do. John Steiner (Tenebre, Shock) is also present as the vile Tommy, Lucy’s ex-lover whose bloody nose at the baby’s hands is well deserved.

And then there’s Joan Collins. First of all, one doesn’t merely watch a Joan Collins film, one experiences it! The Devil Within Her is Collins’ last foray into the horror genre and what a shame (that’s not sarcasm)! Her awe inspiring ultra-melodramatics are quite comical during the narration of Lucy’s flashbacks and her expressions of terror steamroll across the screen.

And finally, the most misused and abused actor in the film (besides the uncredited baby playing Nicholas) is George Claydon as Hercules. The exploitative nature of his role is propelled into the stratosphere when (through painful jump-cuts) Hercules takes the place of Nicholas in the crib wearing baby clothes. Other than being an evil little person there’s absolutely nothing to his character at all. And when Hercules cops a feel on Lucy, how does she react? With revulsion!

The Devil Within Her (AKA I Don’t Want to Be Born or even better It’s Growing Inside Her) is an extremely derivative and unintentionally hilarious anti-masterpiece. The sleaze factor is quite high in this movie. There’s attack-baby violence, dejected strippers, and a lecherous curse-spewing dwarf all for your entertainment. I highly recommend this beastly and warped little film but only because of its mega-campy merits. The Devil Within Her is quality entertainment and is painful fun tailor made for anyone with twisted ideas of what constitutes a good time in front of the TV. I love every minute of it.

“I’ve got to find someone like Gino before I bump and grind myself to death.”

Les Démoniaques (1974)

The film opens with a brief description of the wreckers, a group of pirates who, instead of cruising the seas to plunder, light fires on the beaches to lead passing ships into the rocks and then loot the wreckage. This particular group of wreckers is led by The Captain (John Rico) and is a particularly nasty and bloodthirsty bunch. While they are looting a wreck one night, two survivors (Lieva Lone and Patricia Hermenier) are washed ashore. Upon discovering them, the wreckers proceed to rape and assault the girls then leave them for dead. The two girls make their way to an abandoned cathedral where a swarthy demon is kept prisoner by a clown (Mireille Dargent) and a hippie. They make a deal with the demon in order to get their revenge on the wreckers.

Jean Rollin (Requiem for a Vampire, Grapes Of Death) directs this very weird yet visually stunning tale of pirates, a demon, the undead, psychic powers, and a clown. The soundtrack is composed of jazz and what sounds like stock horror movie music. Jean-Jacques Renon’s cinematography is gorgeous and he makes excellent use of the haunting locations. The already modest pacing of the film is hindered by some softcore sex moments but never slows to a crawl like some of Rollin’s artier efforts.

Joëlle Coeur (Seven Women for Satan) is awesome and extremely sexy as Tina, the most psychotic and violent of the wreckers. Tina’s pursuit of the two girls is unrelenting and when she screams “I’ll bring you back their heads!” well, I’m perfectly convinced she would have, if given the chance. John Rico is great as the Captain, a man who is haunted by his past misdeeds. Paul Bisciglia (Grapes Of Death) is very cool as Paul, the drunkard of the group, whose bloody (albeit highly unlikely) fate is perfectly ironic.

The two beautiful actresses, Lieva Lone and Patricia Hermenier, play their parts mute for whatever reason. According to the film these two demoniacs lose their ability to speak after getting their powers from the demon which is funny because in most of Rollin’s films, the heroines are almost always completely silent anyway. Either way, it’s kind of silly and a shame that these two actresses didn’t do more horror films. Their performances are haunting and very well played.

Les Démoniaques is an incredible film but I have to warn viewers not accustomed to Jean Rollin to put on their patience pants. Although this is certainly easier to jump into than say Rape of the Vampire or The Shiver Of the Vampires. A better Rollin starting point for casual horror fans may be found in Grapes Of Death or The Living Dead Girl. The dreamlike quality of this one may be too much for folks looking for splatter. However, what Les Démoniaques lacks in arterial spray and squewered intestines, it delivers with frightening brutality and disturbing rape scenes. There’s also gratuitous clown makeup and a disco fab “demon” man. So, if you’re looking for some trashy Eurohorror delivered with style and an unforgettable ending, then check this one out, people.

Beauty Queen Butcher (1991)

Poor compulsive eater Phyllis Loden (played by Rhona Brody). She is the butt of every joke in her high school. Her only friend (and fellow nerd), Paul (Matthew Speak), encourages Phyllis to pursue her dream of winning the Miss Slough Queen Pageant. Unfortunately, the chips are stacked against her as the pageant organizer, Betty Prunish (Jim Boggess), is appalled that such an unlikely contestant would dare enter her beauty pageant. Prunish encourages the cruelties of the other, more desirable contestants to get her to drop out. However, the other girls push her too far and Phyllis goes on a rampage, killing anyone who stands in way of her donning the crown of Miss Slough Queen.

Oh man, with a mean streak that is about a mile wide, Beauty Queen Butcher is a rough one. Guilt, bemusement, embarrassment, laughter, and boredom; all of these can be yours, dear viewer. This film’s biggest flaw is its nearly 2 hour running time. Economy of storytelling is not one of director/co-writer Jill Zurborg’s strongest points. While it moves along at a fairly decent pace, it takes over an hour before any (nearly gore-free) butchering takes place.

One of my favorite gags that was old even back in 1991, the unacknowledged transvestite, is alive and well here in Beauty Queen Butcher. Betty Prunish played quite ingratiatingly by Jim Boggess is quite an awful sight to behold even for the legally blind. Phyllis and Paul are well played by Rhona Brody and Matthew Speak. There is an odd concoction of self-pity, psychotic grandeur, and romantic tension happening here. Hey Paul, could you stop being such an enabler? Phyllis doesn’t need pizza or Twinkies, she needs love!

The rest of the cast is game for this strange flick. One of the things that adds to the running time are all the evil high school girls who stand in Phyllis’s way. We get to watch as she eliminates them all, one by one. All of these folks are funny but man, we need to get moving here. Actually, the only character I could have totally done without is the milk-guzzling private eye, Dick Richards.

Beauty Queen Butcher is a tongue-in-cheek and politically incorrect horror comedy if there ever was one. It is some sweet early 90s goodness that will most likely develop a bigger fan base now that it has made it to DVD. The film delivers that sickening sheen that only a shot-on-video flick can with a low budget charm that never backs down. While I’ll never be able to let the 2 hour running time bit go, I have to admit that I’ve been won over by the sad tale of Phyliss Loden. Now pass the Twinkies.

“Smooth movie, fatty!”

The Driller Killer

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The Driller Killer (1979)

Reno Miller (Abel Ferrara) is a sensitive artist trying to get by in New York City. No one around him, not even his girlfriend Carol (Carolyn Marz), knows that Reno is starting to lose his mind. Armed with a large drill and a portable battery (called a “Porto-Pack”), he heads out onto the seedy streets at night murdering homeless people. Things only get worse (yes, even worse) after his art dealer passes on buying Reno’s latest masterpiece and Carol leaves him for her estranged husband. Now, Reno is mad.

Smear on some white pancake makeup, throw back a fistful of uppers, and most importantly: “play this film loud”! Before directing his cult masterpiece, Ms. 45, director and actor Abel Ferrara made this nihilistic vomit-poem for his beloved New York City. The Driller Killer is a trash cinema classic with a big chip on its shoulder. Thanks to this film’s infamous censorship problems in England (making the Video Nasty list), most viewers are under-whelmed (to say the least) when they catch a glimpse of The Driller Killer.

The major problem with the film is pacing. It runs about 10 minutes too long with the seemingly endless rehearsal footage of Tony Coca Cola and The Roosters (the punk band that moves in next door to Reno). And I actually like the band (for some reason) but it’s just too much. However, the high body count, Reno’s hellish hallucinations, the bristling soundtrack, and the sheer delusional nature of the whole film more than make up for the slow pace.

This disgusting heap of a film fearlessly revels in its excesses with its exploitative footage of New York’s homeless (you guys all signed release forms, right?), a gratuitous lesbian shower scene, and even a pointless animal carcass dissection. But you know what? It couldn’t have happened any other way. Bloody, offensive, overlong, overrated, and sometimes even genuinely funny, I love The Driller Killer as much as it can be loved which is completely and not at all.

“No, no, no, no, this isn’t right. This is nothing! This is shit!”

Wood Chipper Massacre

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Wood Chipper Massacre (1989)

When dad goes on a business trip, he leaves Aunt Tess (Patricia McBride) in charge of his three kids for the weekend. John (Jon McBride), the oldest, is doing some yard work and is using the woodchipper (heh heh heh) to take care of some dead branches. Denise (Denice Edeal), the middle kid, is more concerned with her crush on a boy than anything else. And Tom (Tom Casiello), the youngest, is eagerly awaiting his mail order survival knife.

Much to the three kids’ dismay, Aunt Tess turns out to be a total battleaxe. She tries to get the kids into shape by attacking how their father has raised them since their mother died. John and his siblings put up with her as best they can until Tom accidentally stabs Aunt Tess to death. The three decide to dispose of her body with the woodchipper. Everything is about to return back to normal when Aunt Tess’s deadbeat son, Kim (Kim Bailey) turns up looking for money to pay off his gambling debts.

I think every kid has accidentally stabbed an unpleasant relative to death and then shoved the body into a conveniently-placed woodchipper at least once in their lives. It’s a common “coming of age” moment that everyone can relate to. Well, maybe not but Woodchipper Massacre makes it all look so easy and so dang fun. Jon McBride (Cannibal Campout, Among Us) directs this very 80s shot-on-video horror film. The soundtrack is wildly silly, the gore effects are nearly nonexistent, the acting is strictly after school drama club (even the adults), and the budget is miniscule at best. However, Woodchipper Massacre has got a bizarre charm that is as hard to deny as it is to identify.

I can’t help but love the cast on this one. Denice Edeal and Tom Casiello both missed their calling on “You Can’t Do That On Television”. Edeal makes up for lack of experience on camera by shouting her lines and forcing her every facial expression to the breaking point. Awesome. Tom Casiello is the 80s Everykid (perhaps just a little more geeky) and is easily the one having the most fun on camera. Jon McBride plays eldest brother John pretty well but his mom, Patricia McBride, really steals the show. Aunt Tess is one of those unnerving characters that you just want to strangle the minute they open their mouths.

Woodchipper Massacre is quite entertaining with only a few missteps in the pacing. The film takes a little while to get going but the 80s vibe certainly saves it for me during these (thankfully) short stretches of awkwardness. While essentially free from gore and exploitation (other than the lurid title and bloody cover art), the film is actually funny and charming. The interaction of three “kids”, McBride, Edeal, and Casiello, helps add to the sitcom feel which actually makes the film an even stranger experience. I can’t get over the ballsiness of McBride and company to actually put a heartwarming and decidedly happy ending on this one.

“Call that little tramp and tell her to corrupt somebody else tonight!”

 

A Yakuza in Love

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A Yakuza in Love (1997)

Eiji Okuda stars as the hapless yakuza, Kinichi, who falls in love with Yoko (Yuna Natsuo), the waitress. Their twisted relationship is just getting started as his boss dies and Kinichi completely screws up an attempt at assassinating rival boss, Uzaki (Shohei Hino). Soon, Kinichi and Yoko flee to Osaka where they begin dealing drugs to get by. As enemy yakuza begin to close in the pair and Kinichi becomes more dependent on drugs, their situation worsens and threatens to explode at any moment.

Rokuro Mochizuki (Onibi, Another Lonely Hitman) directs A Yakuza In Love, one of the most twisted and painful love stories ever filmed. The film is visually stunning which balances out the sexy, funny, and brutal moments that take place. The main characters, which dominate the film, are complicated and vividly realized. No one is easy to like here but they are all fascinating.

Eiji Okuda’s portrayal of Kinichi is incredible. Viewers will be hard pressed to find a yakuza more despicable or lovable than the lazy, stubborn, and sleazy Kinichi. He’s an abusive boyfriend, a junkie, and a date-rapist but for some reason he’s an enthralling (and pretty repugnant) character. Most viewers will probably be put off by Kinichi’s mistreatment of Yoko and will be mystified why she stays with him.

Yoko is brought to life by Yuna Natsuo (Wild Life) and is a very complex individual. Her inexperience in love leads her to make some serious mistakes with Kinichi but her surprising devotion to him reveals that she is a very strong person. Shohei Hino (Gozu, Mobster’s Confession) is great as boss Uzaki, a truly frightening character (even with his prosthetic ear).

A Yakuza In Love in not an easy pill to swallow. This is an emotionally draining film. It has many ups, downs, in-betweens, and it gets dark as most viewers familiar with yakuza films will see coming. The film has a realistic portrayal of drugs and the effects it has on people’s judgment; especially people that weren’t that bright to begin with. Rokuro Mochizuki is a fine director and A Yakuza In Love is a prime example of that.

 

Dark August

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Dark August (1976)

After accidentally running over a young girl, artist Sal Devito (J.J. Barry) is haunted by three things: visions of the tragic incident, a strange figure lurking in the woods, and by Old Man McDermitt , the girl’s grandfather. As Sal’s mind is slowly coming unglued, his girlfriend Jackie (Carolyne Barry) tries her best to stand by her man. Jackie’s friend recommends that Sal seek spiritual guidance from Adrianna (Kim Hunter), a witch who specializes in white magic. Adrianna discovers that someone has placed a curse on Sal which summoned a demon to torment him.

Director Martin Goldman takes a pretty big chance with his take on what a horror film should be. Without an effects budget or a high body count (this definitely ain’t no slasher film), he instead focuses on psychology, the performances of his actors, and the supernatural. But you’ll have to use your imagination here as almost nothing otherworldly is ever shown in Dark August to indicate that what’s happening is anywhere but in the minds of the characters. The score by William S. Fisher is a jazzy synth mishmash with some wacko drums and piano (so of course, I dig it). The workmanlike cinematography by Richard E. Brooks has a few surprises stashed in the film in the form of some gorgeously composed shots.

Unfortunately, the entire film hinges on Sal, a friggin’ unlikeable bastard. J.J. Barry (who co-wrote the film with Goldman and Carolyne Barry) turns in a great performance but his character is a selfish and smug douchebag. The only thing I liked about Sal’s character is that it doesn’t take him long to buy into the supernatural world around him. If this movie had taken an extra ten minutes he moronically vacillated between faith and science, I would have given up. Other members of the cast do a fine job but the script has them caught in a mire of banal melodrama. Dr. Zira herself, Kim Hunter, is great and she gets to spout some pretty crazy incantations during a seance which goes horribly awry.

Despite its “Me Generation” whining, ponderous pacing, and actors’ workshop vibe, I have to admit that there is something special about Dark August. On the surface it feels like Savage Weekend but without the trashiness or the chainsaw. It does have a very well staged and surprising moment of violence that I did not see coming. Another cool scenes is when we first see the dark figure that is always watching Sal, it is chilling. Sal tries to catch this presence by following it deeper and deeper into the woods and his demon stays just out of reach and is always seen in a blurry haze.

Also in the film’s favor: I watched Dark August after I burned my beat up Lightning Video tape to DVD-R. In my experience, this always lends a claustrophobic, anything-can-happen vibe to old rare films like this one. I highly doubt that this fairly obscure film will get the special treatment if it ever does make it to DVD. It’s a shame because even though Goldman’s film has some major strikes against it, I was left with a creepy feeling when it was over and a few things to think about. I can’t recommend Dark August too much because I don’t think horror film fans should go out of their way to find it. However, if this flick turns up on some 50 movie pack someday, patient folks should give it a spin.

The World’s Greatest Sinner

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The World’s Greatest Sinner (1962)

In what is quite possibly the strangest rock and roll film ever made, Timothy Carey plays Clarence Hilliard, a man who wants to be God. He quits his job as an insurance agent to pursue his dream. By preaching the promise of eternal life on Earth and using the energy of rock and roll, Clarence slowly begins to become more and more popular. He even changes his name to God Hilliard which his followers are all too willing to call him. The devil sees great potential in this blasphemer and shows up as a PR man (played by James Farley) to steer God Hilliard towards a career in politics.

In this outrageous and very strange film which he wrote, directed, produced, and distributed, Timothy Carey ridicules the hypocrisy and megalomania of politicians, religious leaders, and rock stars. When Clarence delivers a speech about how every human being can be their own God while absentmindedly standing on a pile of fertilizer is a very telling moment about Carey’s intentions for this film. The odd soundtrack is provided by Frank Zappa who combines trashy rock and roll with outlandish library music producing excellent and unique results.

Like a cross between Elvis Presley and Jim Jones, Clarence Hilliard is a heretic, a demon, and an undulating rock and roll Beelzebub. The scenes where he wildly plays guitar with his band in a completely out of tune and off tempo fashion while the people go bonkers (even girls trying to rip his clothes off) are hilarious. Taking potshots at Elvis Presley and Jerry Lee Lewis, this film mocks celebrities and the people that worship them.

I have always been disturbed by legendary character actor Timothy Carey. I first noticed him in John Cassavete’s The Killing of a Chinese Bookie and his malignant presence always creeps me out. The guy looks like a walking corpse whose skin is falling off of his buzzard-like head. Even Carey’s voice has an unnatural ring to it as though it’s coming from a somewhere other than his mouth. The man is completely unhinged and his mind is boiling over with insanity yet there’s a dark intelligence underneath it all.

So I wasn’t surprised at all when I found out about this intelligent and wickedly sardonic film. The World’s Greatest Sinner is a fantastic cult film with hints of experimental editing and documentary-style direction (partially due to budget constraints) that is way ahead of its time. With all the subtlety of a sledgehammer made of dynamite, this is a deeply religious film that exposes human beings as the pathetic beasts that we are while at the same time questioning everything sacred.

“I’m not a preacher and I’m not drunk! I’m just a politician!”