Thriller

Tell Me Something

Tell Me Something (1999)

A series of hideous yet insidiously precise murders are taking place in the city and two detectives, Cho and Oh (played by Suk-kyu Han and Hang-Seon Jang, respectively) are on the case. The clues lead them to a lovely artist named Chae (Eun-ha Shim), who was romantically involved with all of the victims. She tells them about Ki-yeon (Jun-Sang Yu), her possessive ex, who happens to be a surgeon and has the medical knowledge to pull off the crimes.

Of course, things aren’t so simple. Detective Cho, the younger of the two cops, is a mess. Internal affairs has been after his ass for years over some screw-up from his past. And he can’t resist the morose charms of Chae, the poster child for damaged goods. Will he be able to keep his head (both of them) on straight and solve this case before anyone else ends up sliced and diced and on display for the world to see?

I first heard about this film (directed by Youn-hyun Chang) while reading an old Videoscope magazine and it sounded intriguing. Tell Me Something is a gruesome little thriller with some giallo influence for sure. The acting from all involved is very good. My only complaints are that the film is wee bit pretentious (though it is earned for the most part), the pacing lags a bit towards the end, and the score is pretty dated. But even with those minor quibbles, I’m glad I checked this one out. There is a lot of tension, ghastly gore setpieces, and the atmosphere is gritty and full of dread. Recommended despite its minor flaws.

The Bloodsucker Leads the Dance (1975)

It’s 1902, in Ireland, and a group of actresses are invited to stay at the castle of Count Richard Marnack (played by Giacomo Rossi-Stuart). He is especially attracted to Evelyn (Patrizia Webley) because she reminds him of his dead wife. Or maybe she’s missing. Something. Oh yeah, there’s a curse in the Marnack family bloodline where the men go crazy and cut their wives’ heads off. I think that’s what it was. Anyway, it isn’t long before members of the group start turning up with their heads cut off. Ugh, I can’t even summon up the energy to describe this bag of crap.

Man oh man, this is one busted-ass Italian cinematic nightmare. I’ve seen many gialli with weak plots, tepid scripts, awkward actors, painfully over-the-top performances, cheap gore effects, listless direction, bland sets, unimaginative lighting, lame dubbing, and a complete lack of suspense. However, all of these factors rarely occur in the SAME DANG FILM! Alfredo Rizzo, I’m calling you out! The curiously (and severely misleadingly) titled The Bloodsucker Leads The Dance is one dreary movie experience. If you can even get through the longest 89 minutes on Earth, you’ll wonder why you did.

As to why these actors ever showed up to work everyday… Well, it must be some kind of a miracle. Giacomo Rossi-Stuart of The Night Evelyn Came Out of Her Grave and Death Smiled at Murder has certainly been much better in other films. I can’t really blame him for sleepwalking through this one. Krista Nell (Night of the Devils) seems to be the only one having any fun as Cora, the slutty actress. Redhead hottie Femi Benussi (Strip Nude for Your Killer) seems utterly confounded as to the “complex” nature of her role as Sybil, the maid. Shhh, she’s got a secret love for Count Marnack! God help poor Evelyn, played by the beautiful Patrizia Webley in her film debut (ouch).

Comic relief comes from Leo Valeriano as Samuel, stagehand and manager for the actresses. No, wait. I actually have no clue what this duder’s purpose is. Anyway, this sad schmuck is ridiculed by the ladies throughout the film. They refer to him as being “half a man” (?) and never miss an opportunity to remind him that they think of him as a eunuch. As an actor, Valeriano is awful but he does manage to put some of the most bizarre and hilariously inappropriate facial expressions I’ve ever seen into his performance.

The plodding pace of Bloodsucker will destroy your happy thoughts. As for the film’s “finale”, um… no. The big reveal goes off like a wet firework. For those of you brave souls out there who insist on seeing every Italian horror movie ever made and for those that will ignore my warnings about the unfathomable suck that is The Bloodsucker Leads The Dance, here is the only reason to watch this film: sex and nudity. Oh yeah, and there a couple of really pathetic and cheap severed heads. Dang, this may just be the worst giallo ever made. Yeah, don’t watch this… unless you want to.

“The world is a stage but sometimes it isn’t.”

Oasis of Fear

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Oasis of Fear (1971)

Two British teenagers, Dick and Ingrid (played by Ray Lovelock and Ornella Muti), set out for Italy. The little scam artists sell porn and pictures of themselves posing nude to pay their way until they get busted and have 24 hours to get out of Italy. Instead of leaving immediately, they get robbed by some rather polite bikers and then get mistaken for a pair of German robbers. When they run out of gas, Dick and Ingrid stop at the house of Barbara Slater (Ingrid Papas), a bored (and strangely suspicious) housewife. The naive pair party with Barbara but soon discover her terrible secret.

Umberto Lenzi (Seven Blood Stained Orchids, Eyeball) does it again with Oasis of Fear, a sex obsessed and rebellious thriller. Though it’s a bit dated with all the hippie themes and some obvious symbolism, this is still a tense and fun film deftly directed by a real stalwart of Italian genre cinema. Oasis of Fear is edited by Eugenio Alabiso who cut many, many gialli including The Case of the Bloody Iris and The Fifth Cord. The score by Bruno Lauzi is a mix between awesome jazz and crappy generic hippie rock.

The cast totally rocks with the seductive and gorgeous Ornella Muti and the lovely but scheming Irene Papas (Don’t Torture a Duckling). Ray Lovelock is quite charming and believable as a desperate but overall good-natured conman. The always dependable Umberto Raho (The Night Evelyn Came Out of the Grave) shows up as a police inspector.

Oasis of Fear is a smart and excellently made giallo. It has its eye-rolling moments of hippie cheese but the grand design of the story is very cynical and intriguing. Lenzi could make some great thrillers and this one is no exception. I got a kick out of the parody of the Italian prudishness and Catholic guilt. The fact that these two kids can make a huge profit off of selling foreign smut to the squares is hilarious. Oasis of Fear is available on a Region 0 PAL DVD from Shameless Films. You should pick it up sometime. Go on, make Mr. Lenzi smile.

“Come on, Dick, kiss her. It’s in the stars.”

Plot of Fear

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Plot of Fear (1976)

A sudden series of brutal homicides baffles police but the obsessive Inspector Gaspare Lomenzo (Michele Placido) is determined to catch the killer. The inspector also has to compete with Pietro Riccio (Eli Wallach), the head of a private detective agency who always seems to be one step ahead of his investigation. The only pattern for the crimes is that all of the victims were members of an exclusive sex club called The Fauna Lovers led by eccentric author Hoffmann (played by John Steiner). Inspector Lomenzo falls for Jeanne (Corinne Clery), a beautiful model who just happens to be involved with this club. She witnessed the accidental death of Rosa, a hooker who may be the key to cracking the case.

Paolo Cavara, you amaze me. After the excellent Black Belly of the Tarantula, director Cavara comes back with a vengeance with Plot of Fear. Whoa, dig that abrasive and frightening music score by Daniele Patucchi (Deep River Savages)! One has to assume that Patucchi is also responsible for those horrid disco numbers as well. Wow. The prolific cinematographer, Franco Di Giacomo, responsible for other Gialli such as Who Saw Her Die? and Four Flies on Grey Velvet, shines once again with his versatility. Whether it’s a gritty and hooker-filled police station or a fog-enshrouded stretch of highway, the man has a beautiful eye.

Michele Placido’s performance as Inspector Gaspare Lomenzo has instantly become one of my favorites in all of the Giallo genre. Lomenzo is hotheaded, high strung, egocentric, and yet is a totally brilliant detective. The beautiful Corinne Clery (Hitchhike, The Devil’s Honey) is excellent as Jeanne, the girl of questionable morals that Lomenzo falls for despite her involvement with the case. Eli Wallach (though hideously dubbed) is very good as the scheming and suspicious Pietro Riccio. An inexplicable American actor cameo in this film comes from Tom Skerritt (also dubbed) who does little more than wave his arms around in frustration. Last but not least, one of Italian genre flicks’ elite, John Steiner of Tenebre and Mario Bava’s Shock, delivers another fine performance.

Giallo fans will be quite pleased with this film as it has plenty of plot twists, a few brutal death scenes (immolation!), odious 70s fashion, garish set designs, beautiful ladies, sleazy sex, J&B sightings, and a slew of politically incorrect moments. Plot of Fear also sports a pretty dismal view of the world with its bleak snapshots of urban life and its rather sickening portrayal of the decadent wealthy. Sounds like fun, eh? Don’t worry, the addition of some dry comedy and a fast-paced, entertaining mystery keep this one from getting too serious.

“Criminals want to get caught. It’s a macabre invitation to a treasure hunt.”

Fan, The

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The Fan (1981)

Renowned film and stage actress, Sally Ross (Lauren Bacall), is making her Broadway debut and is also still settling in after her divorce from Jake (James Garner). So she has very little time to notice the letters of an obsessive fan named Douglas Breen (Michael Biehn) which are growing increasingly frightening. Breen quits his record store job in order to focus entirely on his growing “relationship” with Ross. He begins violently assaulting anyone close to her in order to make her take notice of him. Against the wishes of Inspector Andrews (Hector Elizondo), Sally flees to her beach home until word of Breen’s apparent suicide and a chance at a new start with Jake brings her back to the city and to her Broadway show. Unfortunately for Sally, stage-fright isn’t the only thing she has to worry about on opening night.

This 1981 thriller isn’t to be confused with the Snipes/De Niro disaster of the same name. No, The Fan starring Lauren Bacall is a disaster all its own. Edward Bianichi’s directorial debut is a clunky one (he didn’t direct another feature film for a decade) with several inspired moments. Cinematography by Dick Bush (Laughter in the Dark, Twins of Evil) is technically astounding and the film’s final shot is breathtaking. The incredible Pino Donaggio composes another excellent score for The Fan. Even the cast is top notch and the writing is decent enough to hold the film together. All the right pieces for a classic film are in place but something went wrong here. Let’s investigate, shall we?

Michael Biehn (Aliens, The Abyss) is quite convincing as Douglas, the obsessed fan. He nails the psycho part perfectly. Lauren Bacall is excellent as the sheltered and naive Sally Ross who thinks that she has seen it all. As Sally’s situation becomes more and more dire and her friends turn up either dead or horribly injured, Bacall convincingly transforms her character into a dynamic person with more on her mind than bumping into her ex-husband at a party. James Garner and Lauren Bacall’s chemistry as a divorced couple works quite well but when their relationship starts to blossom again, it just doesn’t float. Hector Elizondo is perfectly cast as Inspector Andrews. A standard cop character in anyone else’s hands, Elizondo easily breathes life into his minor role, often stealing scenes from the rest of the cast.

What is with the late 70s/early 80s obsession with Broadway? The scenes where Sally Ross is preparing for her musical debut are just fine because they are rehearsals and meant to be rough around the edges. But once her act hits the stage near the end of the film, take cover. Lauren Bacall cannot sing and her wonderful screen presence does not translate to a Broadway musical performance. Its’ just plain bad and I can only assume that the musical scenes are meant to be completely serious.

Another problem with the movie is the absence of gore and the inability of the director to stage a decent death scene. Now don’t get me wrong, there is quite a bit of blood shed and even a pierced jugular thrown in for good measure but the film is lacking that hard edge that a trashy ’81 thriller desperately needs. The most stilted and awkward moments in the film (other than the Broadway bits) come during the violent scenes. The attacks on Sally’s friends feel overly cautious. It may have been a studio imposed censorship (nice going, Paramount!) or the director holding back but they just aren’t very shocking at all. Bianichi can easily build tension but when it all comes to a head, I feel cheated.

The Fan is definitely an interesting watch but the filmmakers’ and the studio’s lack of confidence in the film really shows. Some of the film is shocking and sleazy while some of it is very tame where it shouldn’t be. The stalker phenomenon may be completely played out nowadays but if one watches this with 1981 eyes (don’t ask me what those are) then The Fan still manages to be quite frightening and tense through much of its running time. If nothing else, watch it for that final shot.