2010s horror

Zombie Night

Zombie Night (2013)

Patrick (Anthony Michael Hall) and his wife Birdy (Darryl Hannah) must fight for their lives and the lives of their children during a zombie outbreak. If you feel as though you need to know more about the plot of this film then let me assure you that you don’t. Look, I’m on your side. Don’t get all riled up, duder. Just relax and keep reading.

To the credit of director John Gulager (Feast), Zombie Night wastes no time getting started. In fact, I found it very amusing how people start looting the city immediately. There’s lots of cringe-inducing acting and super awkward moments from the cast. The script is insanely silly and there are so many inexplicable moments that will amuse you if you’re the kind of crazy and insane weirdo who thinks bad movies are funny. There are some tense scenes and effective moments but the rest of the ghoulish goings-on are greatly goofy.

The cast is an 80s dream with Anthony Michael Hall, Darryl Hannah, Alan Ruck, and Shirley Jones- Wait a minute! Shirley Jones, what are you doing here? Oh, you’re trying to break the world’s record for overacting? Good luck! Some of the zombie makeup is pretty good and some is really bad. Speaking of inconsistent, the movie sets up some strange rules for the zombies. Does a zombie bite make you turn into a zombie or not? Why does the sun coming up mean that the zombie apocalypse will be over?

I’ve probably already said too much about this film. Beyond the surprise that Syfy Channel made something this watchable, there isn’t any reason for you to go out of your way to watch this. A zombie movie is a zombie is a zombie movie but you’ll get a few laughs at all the stupid shit that doesn’t make sense and there is enough atmosphere and gut-munching to keep you from getting too bored.

“You just think the best of people, baby. Don’t ever let them take that away from you.”

More Brains! A Return to the Living Dead

More Brains! A Return to the Living Dead (2011)

For personal reasons, Return of the Living Dead disturbs me greatly but I still love it. More Brains! A Return to the Living Dead is a documentary on the making of the classic and influential 1985 zombie punk rock splatterfest. The documentary is also therapeutic and a proven psychiatric tool for me because it helped me to first realize and then to conquer my fears of ROTLD.

This documentary is a charming, funny, and nostalgic look at the production with outrageous and sometimes painful stories from the cast and crew. The hilarious true story surrounding Linnea Quigley’s genital-obscuring latex plug (their term, not mine) alone is worth the price of admission. More Brains! also has a huge amount of production stills and home video taken on the set which really gives one the feel for what it was like to be a part of the making of the film.

If you love Return of the Living Dead, if you hate Return of the Living Dead, or if you’ve never even seen Return of the Living Dead, this documentary will still be fascinating for you. This is one of the most comprehensive documentaries on a film I’ve ever seen and I think the DVD is absolutely essential for fans of the film. My therapist says that More Brains! is responsible for all the progress I’ve made in the last few days and that he refuses to accept any more of my money. Now that is one powerful documentary.

The Frankenstein Syndrome

The Frankenstein Syndrome (2010)

Elizabeth Barnes (played by Tiffany Shepis) is quite the young upstart in the field of stem-cell research. She takes a job working in a secret laboratory for the infamous Dr. Walton (Ed Lauter). Walton is trying to develop a serum that will cure every known disease, perhaps even cure death itself, and he has gathered a crew of brilliant physicians together to make this happen.

The reason for all the secrecy is that his group of scientists is illegally obtaining their materials from homeless women willing to sacrifice their bodies for science. Elizabeth immediately takes flack from Dr. Victoria Travelle (Patti Tindall), the team’s leader, who sees her as a threat to her position. After David Doyle (Scott Anthony Leet), the head of security, is killed, they use his body to test the serum and resurrect him but the results of this experiment are less than ideal.

This film delves into the sub-genres of medical horror and mad science and comes out all nasty; coughing up black bile, spraying blood, and flinging chunks of bodies and stuff. The Frankenstein Syndrome has a cool look and boasts some nice camerawork and lighting. It’s hard not to come away from this film feeling cold and slightly depressed. This is not the feel-good splatter flick of the year!

The cast is where The Frankenstein Syndrome really succeeds. One of the horror genre’s sexiest go-to gals, Tiffany Shepis, is excellent in her role (she also gets a producing credit on this film) that is complex and fascinating. The incredibly prolific and always dependable Ed Lauter has a good, smallish part and Louis Mandylor is perfect as the cold and calculating, Marcus, one of Dr. Walton’s lackeys. I really enjoyed Patti Tindall’s ice queen act that only melts when things get really fucked up and it just makes her character even more disturbing. Scott Anthony Leet completely caught me off guard and puts in an extremely dynamic performance.

While The Frankenstein Syndrome isn’t breaking any new ground, the film is full of some cool, if heavy-handed, ideas. I won’t spoil any of those ideas here because they are part of what makes this film unique from your average straight-to-video horror flick and might be possibly spoilerish. Let’s just say there is some immoral and profoundly dark shit going on and leave it at that. Director Tretta and crew make the most of their modest budget and great cast to pull off something horrifying, smart, gory, and quite bleak. If you happen to stumble across this indie horror film or go seek it out, you won’t be disappointed.

Ouija Room (2019)

Ouija Room AKA Haunting Inside (2019)

After the death of their parents, aspiring novelist Sammy (John Bradley Hambrick) takes care of his autistic sister Sylvia (Joni Durian). Sylvia has severe agoraphobia and a host of other issues, so her brother brings her board games to help her stay calm and focused. Unfortunately, a Ouija Board (dun dun dun!) is mixed in among the stack of games and supernatural hijinks ensue.

Sylvia is visited by three spirits, though none of which are Christmas-related. They teach her how to cook and how to play some new games. But it isn’t long before these games take a dark turn causing Sylvia and Sammy’s happy life together to unravel. Are the spirits trying to help Sammy or do they have ulterior motives? I won’t tell!

Ouija Room is a very impressive indie horror film but that’s not too surprising since director Henrique Cuoto has been making films since the mid-2000s. The script by Daniel Wilder is funny, creepy, and heartfelt. I dig the ominous score by composer Ray Mattis which contributes to the overall atmosphere of tension and dread that begins to build almost immediately. The film also has excellent pacing and energy to spare on its side.

The cast is committed to their roles and turn in consistent performances. Joni Durian is excellent as Sylvia. She really carries the movie and deftly portrays a sympathetic character without being schmaltzy. Hambrick is also very good as Sammy, a dude who loves his sister but is barely holding it together. Dear reader, keeping a bottle of mystery booze and a frickin’ Glock within arm’s reach of your bed are kinda ill-advised even at the best of times. Just sayin’.

Get the DVD.

 “Spirits, do you like chalk?”

Mercury Screams

Mercury Screams (2018)

The 12th episode of “Regional Speculative Paranormal Research Program” caused a sensation when it aired on October 18th, 1984. The subject of the program: A husband and wife attempt to escape the trauma of losing a child by starting their lives over. These two damned souls don’t know what horrors await them in the form of an inter-dimensional satanic force. This televised supernatural psychodrama wrought havoc on the prenatal wards within the small area of its transmission. Were these horrific events foretold and was this only the beginning?

This short film by writer/director/producer Dan Wilder does something that every horror short should aspire to, which is to leave the viewer wanting more. I wish that Mercury Screams was feature length and I hope that there are more pieces of this dark puzzle coming soon. The subject matter is wildly disturbing but the faux cable access presentation makes for some evil fun. It’s lovingly filmed and edited with a retro flair. The film feels like a lost transmission from a demented Earth that went off its axis in the mid-1980s mixed with a doomsday cult’s recruitment VHS tape.

Don’t Let the Riverbeast Get You!

riverbeast_dvd

Don’t Let the Riverbeast Get You! (2012)

When Neil Stewart (Matt Farley), the greatest tutor Rivertown, USA has ever known, returns to town, he has to face many obstacles. You see, after being left at the altar by his fiance Emmaline (Elizabeth M. Peterson) when his claims of seeing the mythical Riverbeast made him the town laughing stock, Neil’s life fell apart. With nearly every citizen openly mocking him at every street corner with the nickname “RB” (that stands for “Riverbeast”, btw) and a shameless muckraking reporter on his heels, duder is really up against it.

But Neil is determined to get his life back. First, he moves in with his best friend, Teddy Hollingsworth (Tom Scalzo), who has been living in near-seclusion since Neil left town and not pursuing his path as a guitar-plucking busker. Next, Neil starts tutoring again as well as trying to get his ex-fiance back (even though she’s engaged to the biggest jerk in all of Rivertown).

Out of pure desperation, Neil hires big game hunter/ladies’ man Ito Hootkins (Jim Farley) to help him capture the Riverbeast and prove to Emmaline and the residents of Rivertown that he is not a crazy kook. When that plan backfires and he gets blamed for a series of murders committed by the Riverbeast (yep, it’s real), things are looking even worse for Neil. But all is not lost. With the help of his fellow tutors and his plucky pupil (and wannabe reporter), Allie Stone (Sharon Scalzo), Neil is going to put an end to all this Riverbeast business once and for all.

When was the last time you spent 99 minutes away from your terrible life with something good? Why don’t you just forget your troubles and give yourself to the happy homemade bafflement of Don’t Let the Riverbeast Get You!? I did and look how great I’m doing. I’ve been a huge fan of director Charles Roxburgh, Matt Farley, and company since Freaky Farley and this entry in their oddball canon does not disappoint.

The camerawork lovingly captures the beautiful New England landscape and the writing is genius. All of the dialog is outstanding and characters say some insanely elaborate sentences that are just mind-blowing. There are moments so strange and so droll that I thought I was hallucinating. Who knows, maybe I was. The monster suit is cheesy but also quite impressive and the music is excellent. You’ll be humming “River Party Days” long after you hear it.

If you dig indie horror films in the least, then you need to swing by Rivertown, USA. You’ll be glad you did. Don’t Let the Riverbeast Get You! is an eccentric, zany, family friendly (and I mean that as a compliment), and laugh-out-loud funny horror film with a positive message and a gaggle of kooky characters. The film even features one of those warning systems that go off whenever something monster-related is about to occur. The screen will flash red letting you know it’s time to cover your eyes but peek through fingers just a little bit.

“Ah yes, the ever elusive Riverbeast. Half ape, half reptile, half I don’t know what.”

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