Doom It Yourself Moviethon

For years now, I’ve been defining a moviethon as a movie marathon of 5 films or more, preferably watching those five films in a single day. If you need to stretch the viewing over a 2-day period, then you should bump it up to 6 movies or more. Many of the moviethons I’ve written about over the years were between 13 and 18 films between Friday night and Sunday evening.

The main rule of a moviethon is that you have to sit through all of the films at normal speed. No cheating by having a movie playing at 10x speed or whatever abominable settings that modern technology has provided. Of course, you can pause for bathroom breaks and meals, and even leave yourself time to take a nap but I recommend setting an alarm (or two) just in case your body revolts and wants to crash for like 8 or 9 hours.

Obviously, you can do a moviethon any way that you see fit with any theme that you can imagine. But why not stage a Giallo Meltdown and burn through all those wonderful Italian thrillers you’ve been hoarding? Or watch all of those The Fast and the Furious films in an epic, brain-melting weekend of vroom vroom stuff. You could even do a “The Worst of ‘82” marathon with titles like Jerry Lewis’s nightmarish Slapstick of Another Kind (1982) and the paranormal high school sleaze fest Zapped! (1982) with a pre-“Charles in Charge” Scott Baio and Willie Aames. Does that sound too random? Good! The tenuous connections between your title choices is purely up to you.

Don’t have any ideas for your own moviethon? I got you covered. Want me to challenge you with a customized moviethon of my own making? Ditto. So yeah, I thought it might be fun to develop a playlist for a proper 10 film Doomed Moviethon-style moviethon based on the criteria I came up with below. The theme I’m providing you with is that there is no theme other than a collection of various horror, cult, and genre films.

The Very Official Doom It Yourself Moviethon Criteria:

1 giallo or 80 slasher – My two favorite genres!

1 Asian horror film – This is how your worldliness can be increased.

1 British horror film – Never underestimate how crazy British horror films can get.

1 zombie movie – There’s only a million of these to choose from.

1 non-horror film – This is your wild card and a chance to get truly freaky.

1 Spanish horror film – You need some Paul Naschy.

1 haunted house or ghost film – Save this one for after dark so you get spookefied.

1 Italian horror film – How can you choose just one?

1 action film – Some sweaty, machine gun-toting, macho bullshit.

1 vampire movie – Get sucked.

There are no rules in terms of the order or the scheduling with that criteria. Do two movies Friday night and then the other 8 all day on Saturday. Or save a couple for Sunday. Heck, if you were having trouble deciding between two many choices, don’t stop at 10 films. Go for 12 or 13 before you have to actually get some sleep and then go back to work. I do recommend putting the shorter films near the end of the marathon and/or saving your favorites or most anticipated titles for last.

Hopefully, I left you with some vague enough sub-genres so that you will be overwhelmed with choices. List making is fun! Speaking of being overwhelmed, here is my list as a curated challenge for you. Do you dare to get this doomed? The following playlist is what I am currently in the mood for right now. Every time I think about those criteria, I come up with different films, but I need to stop somewhere.

The Doomed Moviethon Challenge Playlist:

The Initiation (1984) – Dumb and overly serious slasher that is so much fun.

The Seventh Curse (1987) – You will never forget this Hong Kong splatterfest.

Terror (1978) – One of the weirdest British horror films ever.

One Dark Night (1982) – Very odd little zombie movie.

Spinout (1966) – This is like watching every Elvis Presley movie at the same time.

The Fury of the Wolfman (1973) – Paul Naschy hated making this dopey shit.

House on Haunted Hill (1999) – Something kooky from the tail end of the 1990s.

Aenigma (1987) – Fulci’s Carrie (1976) rip-off that is wacko.

Cyborg (1989) – Science fiction AND action in one movie. Van Damme it!

Vamp (1986) – This is about as offbeat as it gets.

So, there it is. Please let me know if you attempt this moviethon or a variant of it. I would be super jazzed to see how far you got or what titles you chose with my criteria. Before I wrap this up, don’t forget to watch these movies with some pals, either in the real world or in the virtual Internet space. Having someone along for the ride to react to your crazy picks makes staying awake much easier.

Rojo Sangre

Rojo Sangre (2004)

Pablo Thenevet (Paul Naschy) is an aging actor down on his luck. After playing many classic characters on stage and on screen, he is now relegated to pitiful walk-on roles and sucking up to his scumbag agent. After making a deal with Reficul (Miguel Del Arco), owner of a decadent nightclub to make appearances dressed as the great murderers in history such as Jack the Ripper and Ivan the Terrible. Now back on his feet, Pablo turns to executing those that have offended him. Unfortunately, Pablo did not read the fine print of his contract and now he must pay for his recent successes with his soul.

Spanish horror icon Paul Naschy is excellent in this well-made though rather odd film. The editing is top notch, even inspiring and the camerawork is flawless. CGI effects are mostly well done with a few awkward moments but nothing too awful or embarrassing. While quickly paced, the ironic and comically cruel story has a strange (and only occasionally hokey) flow to it and the ending is very bizarre as well.

Naschy fans will be very pleased to see the great Jacinto Molina still in fine form this late in his career. The script (written by Naschy himself) gives the actor a chance to vent some rage at the state of the film industry. The opening conversation where Pablo explains to a fellow actor why he enjoys putting mice in a very special place is a riot. There is plenty of blood, gore, sex, and sadism to be found in this surprising little number from Spain.

Faceless

faceless

Faceless (1987)

Helmut Berger plays Dr. Frank Flamand, a plastic surgeon who will go to any lengths to help repair the scarred face of his sister, Ingrid. He is drugging and kidnapping women to find the perfect candidate for a facial transplant. His assistant, Nathalie (the stunning Brigitte Lahaie), and his henchman, Gordon, are willing to do anything to assist the good doctor in his scheme. When they kidnap an American fashion model named Barbara (played by Caroline Munro), her father (Savalas) hires a private eye named Sam (Mitchum) to find her. Dr. Frank manages to track down a Nazi doctor who is more than happy to perform the potentially deadly operation. Can detective Sam find Barbara and rescue her before she loses her face?

Wow, what an evil creature this is. Faceless is a sadistic tribute (Tribute? Remake? Parody? Whatever!) to Georges Franju’s Eyes Without A Face. It’s difficult to compare this gorefest with Franco’s earlier works. Clearly, he was trying to tap into the splatter trend of horror flicks of the 80s and I’m sure glad he did. Franco fills this wacky flick with cornball pop music, ludicrous characters, and opportunities for softcore lovin’ wherever he can.

The worst part about this movie, without a doubt, is Christopher Mitchum. He is the hammiest ham that ever hammed a ham and I can’t figure out how he got involved in the project. The part of Sam Morgan, private eye seems to have been written for a much older actor and Mitchum never even comes close to fitting the bill. The only scene where he seems at home is when he gets into a fistfight with the stereotypically gay fashion photographer’s muscle-bound bodyguard.

The kitschy quality of Faceless may put off some viewers. For instance, the cornball pop music that is interspersed throughout the film should produce mild hysterics or nausea. Luckily for Franco, the horrifying elements of the film are truly horrifying. Most of the special effects are very well done; although there is a certain rotting severed head that could have used a little more work. Dang, it looked good when it came off but now I’m not sure. Well, just throw some maggots on it. Perfect!

If you’re looking to get into the films of Jess Franco, then please choose another gateway such as Vampyros Lesbos or The Diabolical Doctor Z. Faceless is not very much like his other films although it has some traces of his style. Don’t expect a classic here but get ready to enjoy some nice Euro-cheese with several gory moments that you won’t soon forget. Plus anything with Brigitte Lahaie (Grapes Of Death) is worth watching. Right?

Exorcism

exorcism

Exorcism (1975)

After getting high at a black mass, Leila (Grace Mills) and her fiancé, Richard, get into a car accident. Afterwards, Leila begins to exhibit strange behavior and a change in personality. Her mother, Patricia, asks Father Adrian (Paul Naschy), to come and speak to Leila, who may only be reacting to her car accident or grieving over the recent passing of her father. Father Adrian has trouble getting Leila to speak to him and her overprotective brother, John, is no help either. When John turns up dead and Leila’s behavior begins to worsen, Father Adrian believes that she may be possessed by an evil spirit.

I have to confess that I have an inexplicable affinity for European clones of The Exorcist. For some reason these lighter versions of the film just strike a chord with me. My favorites are The Antichrist and the chilling (and delightfully cheesy) Beyond the Door. When I found out that Paul Naschy had written and starred in a Spanish exorcism flick, I just had to check it out.

Director Juan Bosch (The Killer with a Thousand Eyes) brings this awkward genre oddity to life. The film has a very atmospheric punch to it and an undeniably European feel. The rickety plot is a little off (a possessed dog and that confusing final shot) and oh man, those day-for-night filters. The original Exorcist is blatantly borrowed from but Exorcism has its own agenda. Both the attention-grabbing soundtrack and the swaying Satanists are just so dang wild.

Paul Naschy (Werewolf Shadow) is excellent in this film and his character is very well written. Father Adrian wants to help Leila and her family but his approach is very gentle and caring. He doesn’t want to impose his opinion on anyone unless he feels they really need help. And when it comes time to kick some paranormal ass, well, the man does what needs to be done.

Grace Mills does a fine job as Leila, a girl possessed by the spirit of her dead father (not the devil for a change). The dynamic role of Leila gives Mills a chance to go through a wide range of emotions and act her butt off underneath a ton of nasty friggin’ makeup which she pulls off superbly. The rest of the cast is decent but it’s really Naschy and Mills’s show.

While not a great film by any means, Exorcism is still holds a unique place in the Naschy canon. It gives the actor a chance to show that he could be subtle (and not turn into a werewolf) even when the film is not. Unfortunately, the plot feels pretty rushed and there are some details that need expanding. I think this would be a terrible starting point for folks interested in Naschy (try Horror Rises from the Tomb for that) but if you’re down with “Exorcist Lite” movies like I am, then give this one a spin.

“Demon from Hell, you’ll not deceive me. She is not guilty. It’s you, because you’re inside her.”

The Swamp of the Ravens

swampoftheravens

The Swamp of the Ravens (1974)

Dr. Frosta (Ramiro Oliveros) has been conducting illegal and immoral experiments on the recently deceased in an effort to conquer death and perfect the mental control of his subjects. All that Simone (Marcia Bichette), his estranged girlfriend, knows is that the doctor works too hard and doesn’t give her enough attention. The police inspector (played by Fernando Sancho) assigned to the case is getting closer and closer to catching and stopping Dr. Frosta. The obsessive doctor is pushed over the edge when Simone starts seeing another man and he decides to use her as his next test subject.

I was lead to The Swamp of the Ravens by this poster. Much like the video-store days of my youth, clever and beautifully morbid artwork have steered me wrong in the best way possible. While very, very far from obscure Spanish horror perfection, the film does deliver on the fog-enshrouded swamp and the ravens. Well, there are some ravens. Mostly, the swamp is populated by buzzards. Anyway, let’s get down to business.

The eerie mood and the sickening tone of this film communicate one thing: death is everywhere. I still can’t believe that director Manuel Caño is the same guy who brought us the inept and idiotic Voodoo Black Exorcist. He really outdoes himself here by taking a film with a lame, somewhat confusing, and tired plot and filling it with an atmosphere so heavy, it’s suffocating. A classic horror tale unfurling in a somnambulitic 70s haze? Oh, I’m already there, duder. Oh yeah, and that badass cinematography comes from Manuel Merino of Horror Rises from the Tomb and Vampyros Lesbos.

Most of the cast doesn’t do much for me but the intense Ramiro Oliveros (Cannibal Apocalypse, The Pyjama Girl Case) works as Dr. Frosta. And Fernando Sancho makes for a great police inspector who perfectly delivers some dark humor. Marcia Bichette is pretty good as Dr. Frosta’s imperiled girlfriend but only shines when it’s time for her to scream.

The film’s fiery finale would be more satisfying if the damn thing had ended there. I won’t give anything away but let me just say that the final wrap-up is completely awful. Instead of a horde of Dr. Frosta’s zombies going on a rampage we get something much, much cheaper. Oh well, can’t win ’em all! Another unfortunate misstep is that The Swamp of the Ravens has a pretty slow pace but I barely even noticed because this flick is so grim and so odd. What’s that? Necrophilia and a (supposedly) real autopsy? Now, you’ve got my attention!

“I don’t like buzzards. They are birds of death.”

Satan’s Dish: The Purple and Red Horror of Horror Rises from the Tomb

horrorrisesfromthetomb-poster

[This article contains a few spoilers.]

“You two will serve us during the day. And once the seven moons have gone by
and the rite is carried out, you will be our master Satan’s dish.”

Whenever life gets me down and I need to escape from reality, I turn to the king of Spanish horror, Jacinto Molina, better known to the world as Paul Naschy. This former weight lifter turned actor, writer, and director was one of the horror genre’s legendary figures. Best known for his always energetic portrayal of Waldemar Daninsky, a man suffering quite profoundly under the curse of the werewolf, Naschy first caught my attention when I picked up a copy of Werewolf Shadow from a sale bin somewhere. By then the hooks were in and I had to find more of his films. Little did I know how insanely prolific this barrel-chested badass was in horror filmdom.

Of Paul Naschy’s many, many horror outings, I always come back to Horror Rises from the Tomb. In it, he plays Alaric de Marnac, an evil cannibalistic nobleman (not a werewolf) put to death for his devotion to black magic. Alaric is not alone in his crimes and his mistress Mabille De Lancre (Helga Line) is executed along with him. Before they meet their fates, Alaric and his witchy woman curse Alaric’s brother (also played by Paul Naschy) and Andre Roland (Victor Alcazar) promising that their ancestors will suffer for their betrayal. Over 500 years later, Hugo de Marnac (Naschy again) and his friend Maurice Roland (Alcazar again) awaken the spirit of Alaric de Marnac in a seance. Woops. Andre and Hugo’s chicks get spooked so they all decide to visit the de Marnac ancestral home to prove that there are absolutely no supernatural things at work. Double woops.

Aside from nearly getting killed by some bandits and getting to witness some vicious backwoods justice firsthand, Hugo and company arrive safely at their destination. With the help of some suspicious villagers, Hugo begins digging up the land looking for some treasure but the knuckleheads find the still living and very fresh severed head of Alaric de Marnic which possesses anyone who meets its gaze. Meanwhile, Hugo rekindles his love for Elvira (Emma Cohen) and the two hook up while everyone is either dropping dead or vanishing around them.

Maurice becomes Alaric’s (non-love) slave and helps him return his severed head to his body and resurrect Mabille De Lancre. These two delightfully evil beings go right to work, ripping out the hearts of hapless villagers for sustenance. Hugo is shotgunned to death by Maurice but before he can do her in too, Elvira breaks the spell on the poor schmuck with a magical talisman. Now it is up to the survivors to bring Alaric and Mabille’s bloody rampage to an end. Maurice and Elvira steel themselves for a fight to the death (or undeath) against creatures with some pretty nifty magic powers like turning their victims into zombies and disappearing and reappearing at will. I wish you luck, you poor bastards.

The moment composer Carmelo A. Bernaola’s insane organ music comes screaming out of your TV’s speakers, you will know it is on. And by ‘it’, I mean ‘ass-kicking horror’. With its rampant nudity, gore, and straight-faced goofiness, Horror Rises from the Tomb is total immersion into the world of Eurohorror. I wish I could erase my memory of this one just so that I could rediscover it over and over again. While Paul Naschy can carry a film on his own, the scrumptious German cult movie queen Helga Line (The Vampires’ Night Orgy) is on hand to make sure that all the dudes in the audience are paying attention. And while there are several sexay womens populating this film, Helga’s only real competition comes from Emma Cohen. Don’t let that stage name fool you, Cohen comes from Spain and will lay you to waste with her enchanting good looks.

Even though director Carlos Aured’s film is 19 varieties of cheesy, it has one of my top 5 favorite supremely awesome seance sequences. As soon as the medium (played by Elsa Zabala) goes into her trance, the disembodied head of Alaric de Marnac materializes and begins to speak. Next thing you know a candelabra goes flying at Hugo’s head and it is freakin’ hilarious. There are other awkward moments, the best of which is when Maurice confronts Alaric with the disco talisman. These two grown men begin to jump from side to side as though they were in some obscure folk dance. Other moments of inexplicable goofiness happen and no one is winking at the camera. This is all delivered with the utmost seriousness and it is one of the many reasons why Horror Rises from the Tomb is a classic.

Once the evil starts in this purple and red nightmare of a film, it’s a seemingly unstoppable juggernaut that will fucking destroy the world one village at a time. In a couple of calm moments in the last half of the film, a sense of dread settles in and one wonders if the good guys might actually fail this time. I won’t say what happens but I promise that you will enjoy this film (unless you’re a complete dickhead!). Horror Rises from the Tomb is a macabre, chilling, and kinky flick. And yes, there will be many smoke machines and at least one (really impressive) zombie siege. Did I mention that Paul Naschy plays not one, not two, but three different characters in this one!? And that he wrote the screenplay?! Well, he does and he did. God bless you, Jacinto Molina.