Zombies

Zombie Night

Zombie Night (2013)

Patrick (Anthony Michael Hall) and his wife Birdy (Darryl Hannah) must fight for their lives and the lives of their children during a zombie outbreak. If you feel as though you need to know more about the plot of this film then let me assure you that you don’t. Look, I’m on your side. Don’t get all riled up, duder. Just relax and keep reading.

To the credit of director John Gulager (Feast), Zombie Night wastes no time getting started. In fact, I found it very amusing how people start looting the city immediately. There’s lots of cringe-inducing acting and super awkward moments from the cast. The script is insanely silly and there are so many inexplicable moments that will amuse you if you’re the kind of crazy and insane weirdo who thinks bad movies are funny. There are some tense scenes and effective moments but the rest of the ghoulish goings-on are greatly goofy.

The cast is an 80s dream with Anthony Michael Hall, Darryl Hannah, Alan Ruck, and Shirley Jones- Wait a minute! Shirley Jones, what are you doing here? Oh, you’re trying to break the world’s record for overacting? Good luck! Some of the zombie makeup is pretty good and some is really bad. Speaking of inconsistent, the movie sets up some strange rules for the zombies. Does a zombie bite make you turn into a zombie or not? Why does the sun coming up mean that the zombie apocalypse will be over?

I’ve probably already said too much about this film. Beyond the surprise that Syfy Channel made something this watchable, there isn’t any reason for you to go out of your way to watch this. A zombie movie is a zombie is a zombie movie but you’ll get a few laughs at all the stupid shit that doesn’t make sense and there is enough atmosphere and gut-munching to keep you from getting too bored.

“You just think the best of people, baby. Don’t ever let them take that away from you.”

More Brains! A Return to the Living Dead

More Brains! A Return to the Living Dead (2011)

For personal reasons, Return of the Living Dead disturbs me greatly but I still love it. More Brains! A Return to the Living Dead is a documentary on the making of the classic and influential 1985 zombie punk rock splatterfest. The documentary is also therapeutic and a proven psychiatric tool for me because it helped me to first realize and then to conquer my fears of ROTLD.

This documentary is a charming, funny, and nostalgic look at the production with outrageous and sometimes painful stories from the cast and crew. The hilarious true story surrounding Linnea Quigley’s genital-obscuring latex plug (their term, not mine) alone is worth the price of admission. More Brains! also has a huge amount of production stills and home video taken on the set which really gives one the feel for what it was like to be a part of the making of the film.

If you love Return of the Living Dead, if you hate Return of the Living Dead, or if you’ve never even seen Return of the Living Dead, this documentary will still be fascinating for you. This is one of the most comprehensive documentaries on a film I’ve ever seen and I think the DVD is absolutely essential for fans of the film. My therapist says that More Brains! is responsible for all the progress I’ve made in the last few days and that he refuses to accept any more of my money. Now that is one powerful documentary.

Black Demons (1991)

College students, Kevin (Keith Van Hoven), Jessica (Sonia Curtis), and her brother Dick (Joe Balogh), are traveling through Brazil. Dick decides to take part in a black magic ritual and he becomes cursed. The trio’s jeep breaks down and they are escorted to a villa by two friendly travelers. Dick finds a nearby gravesite containing the bodies of six murdered slaves and awakens them. The slaves rise up from the ground armed with various pointy objects and the urge to slaughter anyone who is unlucky enough to be hanging around. Maria (played by Maria Alves), the servant and resident practitioner of magic, does all she can to protect everyone from the evil that Dick has awakened.

Umberto Lenzi, is that you? From the director of Seven Bloodstained Orchids, Eyeball, and Ghosthouse, comes the unfortunately-titled Black Demons. A straightforward plot (read as only a handful of loose ends) and beautiful Brazilian locations fooled me for a moment into thinking Lenzi might just have pulled off something of a minor classic here. However, bland lighting and a forgettable soundtrack by Franco Micalizzi combined with a cast of wildly irritating actors hinder the film from being a return to the glory days of Italian horror.

Speaking of bland, Keith Van Hoven (House of Clocks) turns up as our hero, Kevin. While he’s not the worst of the lot, the guy is frighteningly dull. From the moment she opens her mouth, soap opera and sitcom actress Sonia Curtis, is unfathomably awful as Jessica. If only the producers had hired a competent voice actress to dub over Curtis’s thinly delivered lines then we’d only be stuck with her vacant stare to contend with. Then we have Philip Murray as Jose the mumbler and Juliana Texeira as “just plain” Sonia. Two annoying characters whose death scenes inspire sighs of relief, if not some cheering.

Joe Balogh (Hitcher in the Dark) actually won me over with his portrayal of Dick, Jessica’s haunted and ultimately cursed brother. The scene where he takes part in a Macumba ritual is the best directed in the movie and Balogh is definitely up to the task. Brazilian actress Maria Alves easily has the best performance in the film. I only wish her character, Maria, could have survived long enough to get us through the rest of the dang flick. Alves spends most of her screentime looking completely terrified but it works.

Oddly enough, Lenzi refers to Black Demons as his masterpiece during an interview in the book, “Spaghetti Nightmares”. Well, I just don’t know how to interpret that one. The pace of this film is drowsy at best and despite some occasionally inspired camerawork, fluid editing, cool zombie makeup, and somewhat gory (and well-staged) deaths, I don’t see how any director could interpret this as their masterpiece. While not the worst of his horror contributions, Lenzi has done much, much better. If nothing else, Black Demons is a decent little time waster.

“You know, Kevin, you really get up my nose!”

Doomed Discussiethon: Zombie Death House

Zombie Death House

Directed by John Saxon

1987

90 minutes

Plot: Vietnam vet Derek Keillor (Dennis Cole) pays the bills by working as a driver for mob boss Vic Moretti (Anthony Franciosa). When Vic discovers that his driver has been sleeping with his wife, he kills her and frames Derek for the crime. The jail he is sent to houses Vic’s brother Franco (Michael Pataki) and which also happens to be the most corrupt prison in the world. Colonel Gordon Burgess (John Saxon) is using the inmates to test a mind control virus. He calls in scientist Tanya Karrington (Tane McClure) to confirm and report on the success of his research. But everything goes wrong, the inmates turn into zombies and it is up to Tanya and Derek to come up with a cure. When Burgess begins to fear that he can’t contain the virus, he sends in the military to blow up the joint. Will anyone survive? Will anyone notice that I just skipped over about 90% of the plot of this convoluted ass movie?

[Please note: There are spoilers in this article because the warden short-sheeted us.]

Nafa: Right from the get-go you know you are in for a treat when the title screen pops up with the words ‘Zombie Death House’ but you notice the word ‘Zombie’ was added at some point later, probably for DVD release . Rather than make a completely new title screen they just threw the word ‘Zombie’ in with a similar but not matching font. They could have used a scary font or a different font, or played it off as intentionally different, but no- the viewer won’t notice, they’ll be too busy marking out for John Saxon (which I always have, but only because his name in the ‘80s reminded me of the video game Zaxxon). But we’ll deal with the cast in a moment. The other 800-lb. gorilla in the room is the feeling that you’re watching a made-for-TV film. I’m thinking one episode of “Hardcastle & McCormick” probably had a bigger budget, not that that’s a bad thing. Herr Sliz?

Richard: Duder, are we connected at the butt or what? Oh sorry, this is a prison film after all. But I did notice the font change. I think it was intentional. The slightly different font just makes the inclusion of the word ‘Zombie’ all the more terrifying. The next thing that struck me (slightly more interesting than fonts anyway) is the music by Chuck Cirino. Check out this dude’s IMDB page and bear witness to the supremely awesome movies he has lent sassy keyboard skills to (Chopping Mall, Sorority House Massacre II, etc.). All we need to know about our main character Derek Keillor is that he’s a Vietnam vet. I freakin’ love that about 80s movies. Just show that the duder was in ‘Nam and you can flush all that unnecessary character exposition right down the shitter. Instant depth!

Nafa: I am soooooo not buying the intentional font change theory. It’s totally there to appeal to a bigger audience on DVD. But I digest. ‘Nam vets make the best -erm- everything. There wasn’t an ‘80s action flick or TV show that didn’t have at least one kick ass guy who served in ‘Nam-Rambo, the “A-Team”, the soldiers from the original Predator, Sloth from The Goonies. The formulaic thing about these HollywoodNam vets is that they always end up working for a bad Italianesque mobster. I don’t know if there is a hook-up book for these pairings but it seems like a thing with them all. Oh, and hot, if not dated (in the fashion sense), blondes.

Richard: The blond women of Zombie Death House are pretty amazing. First up is Genelle (Dana Lis Mason) who has this really odious make-out scene with her gangster boyfriend Vic Moretti (Anthony Franciosa). Of course, Genelle hooks up with Derek “I just drive” Keillor and the sparks fly. And by sparks I mean awful sex scenes. This affair leads to Genelle’s untimely drowning in the bathtub by Vic. And just like this movie, she’s a floater.

The most significant hottie in the film is Tanya Karrington or TK for short. Tanya is played by Tane McClure, who is the daughter of actor Doug McClure and the inspiration for Journey’s classic piece of shit “Faithfully”. Useless trivia? Not at all. I couldn’t figure out if TK was a scientist or a journalist. I guess she’s kind of both but whatever, the main thing is that TK has trust issues. You see, she got burned by Colonel Burgess (John Saxon) before when they were working together on the previous version of the mind control virus. You just can’t trust da gubment.

And finally, we have the soul-crushing, ball-busting, mega supreme power of Warden Hagen’s wife, Mary (June Chandler, who portrayed Barbara Walters in the Mike Tyson made-for-TV biography). She threatens to take away Christmas if Hagen doesn’t abandon his job for some family time. Okay, I’ve spent too much time talking about chicks. Nafa, would you care to enlighten us on some of the fabulous dudes in this film?

Nafa: The cast is a veritable who’s who of people you think you’ve seen in other roles but can’t quite place. There’s the head guard, Raker (Howard George, best known in recent years for his work as ‘Stripper Auditioner’ on “Roswell”), who brings new meaning to the word ‘corrupt’- if the new meaning meant the same as the old meaning. Then there’s the “guy you want to survive to the end but know won’t though he gets his revenge” Adams (Earl Johnson), a Rastafarian sage and the only thing with even a vague sense of a spiritual soul in this film. And then there’s Franco Moretti (Michael Pataki), flamboyant brother of Vic Moretti, who runs his brother’s business inside the big house. He proves that behind every good man is another man doing his hair. The rest of the cast is consists of people who you’d use other celebrities to reference- such as the gang duder in the red headband who looks like George Lopez, the soldier with one scene who looks like Michael Ian Black, or Colonel Burgess’ assistant who I swear is Andy Richter.

Richard: That guy is so Andy Richter. Awesome. Hey, is the phrase “tearing him a new asshole” code for something? Michael Pataki (of Sidehackers) is a god among other gods in this movie. Franco Moretti is such a fancy character. I have to agree with you about Adams. He’s my favorite character in the movie and he gets killed off way too soon. It’s actually pretty sad: “They stuck me!” The guy who looks like George Lopez is Rickey Pardon and he plays Hector, the kickass bastard who says “Hey mamacita, I’m you’re date for the prom!” Raker seemed pretty harmless and ineffectual until he RAPES Franco’s cellmate/life partner. His best line: “Save your spit, you’re gonna need it in Hell.”

Anthony Franciosa (of Tenebre) is the real catch here. The guy has the most fascinating voice ever to slide its way out of a human head (with awesome immovable hair). He is completely committed to this role and exudes evil in every scene. John Saxon (also of Tenebre) is in pretty amazing form here as well. The dude is in the director’s chair for this one and his character is the mastermind behind all this mind control zombie nuttiness. Of course, Saxon ensured that Colonel Burgess would get a monologue that is nothing short of breathtaking.

[The rest of this very Doomed Discussiethon is being written literally 3 and a half months later.]

Nafa: Have we watched this film yet?

Richard: Oops! Yeah, we totally watched this film already. I guess the holidays kind of put a screeching halt on this discussion. Let me refer to my notes and see what we haven’t talked about yet.

Nafa: Yeah, I’m sorry about that- I totally dropped the ball on this. I guess the terrorists win.

Richard: We need to talk about the chef. “Don’t touch my twinkies!”

Nafa: Ah yes, the chef. Probably one of the most expected-yet-unexpected scenes in the film and by far the best line in the film. The thing that creeped me out most about the chef is that I started to think that he wasn’t a zombie, just a Twinkie-lover (wow, that last word pairing was very close to another prison term, though not entirely divergent). The thought that he was cooking the food just as he is makes it all the better in my mind. Re-butt-al?

Richard: Yeah, I foolishly assumed that the chef duder was a zombie. But he could have just been a total dick with a skin condition. I wanted him to kill that fucking annoying Luke look-at-me-I-can-has-skateboard-kid. Did I mention that dream sequence yet? Oh my god. You think that we’re going to get some R rated lovin’ between hero Derek and TK the sexy scientist but oh no, that’s just a dream. Like the duder didn’t get enough action from his boss’s wife (which landed him in jail in the first dang place), now he has to have the hots for the heroine. What a pig! But he gets his when her face is all zombified which probably wouldn’t slow me down in a fantasy sequence.

Nafa: Which reminds me of another point. I sort of got confused with the blondes once they were thrown into the mix together. That happens sometimes, but I sort of lost track which was which. Maybe I’m thinking of another movie, but probably not. Probably both. That’s the thing about 1970s-1980s films like this, sometimes the characters aren’t all that indistinguishable. Just like having a cave in a mountain for a prison that’s located in the middle of the desert (smooth segue, no?).

Richard: Don’t worry. You’re just having a perfectly normal reaction to what some doctors refer to as TERRIBLE or CHILDLIKE screenwriting. Don’t get me wrong, I frickin’ love the cheese and the whole quasi-epic nature of Zombie Death House but I was perfectly satisfied and ready for this shit to be over. And then it goes on for another 19 minutes! The army gets called in and instead of just nuking the fucking prison off the map, they send in a squad to plant bombs. Timed bombs?!?! As if we weren’t bored enough; now we have to wait for a bunch of clocks?

Nafa: I was about to skip all the wait to the very end, but the bomb squad- and not the music producers for Public Enemy kind- what was that all about? Were they Special Forces? Spetsnaz? Tzahal? I mean, what was that? They weren’t very good, but they were awfully special. Urgh. OK, the end. We can assume that this prison in the middle of the desert was at least 12 miles away from any isolated caves or mountains. If not, then this was the worst protected prison ever. (And why did it remind me of the end of Silent Rage?) I think I was watching this ending and making up a different one in my head to go along with it. Bah, I’ve got no more to say. I’m thoroughly spent on this film. Can you put a bow and name tag on this for us, Sliz? Any thoughts on the ending?

Richard: It sucks and it takes forever? Hmm, I will admit to the overall awesomeness of the entirety of Zombie Death House but with the CAVEAT that the shit is just too friggin’ long. And then the weirdest non sequitur of all: they play Dead Kennedys over the end credits! Even that can’t help John Saxon recover. I can only hope that the duder will return to directing and give this gig another go. The writers shouldn’t ever write again though. I’m assuming that they are probably in their mid-20s by now. I guess what I really want to say is that Zombie Death House is what Missing in Action could have been or perhaps what that “Oz” show could have been. Sigh.

Goodnight, folks!

The Swamp of the Ravens

swampoftheravens

The Swamp of the Ravens (1974)

Dr. Frosta (Ramiro Oliveros) has been conducting illegal and immoral experiments on the recently deceased in an effort to conquer death and perfect the mental control of his subjects. All that Simone (Marcia Bichette), his estranged girlfriend, knows is that the doctor works too hard and doesn’t give her enough attention. The police inspector (played by Fernando Sancho) assigned to the case is getting closer and closer to catching and stopping Dr. Frosta. The obsessive doctor is pushed over the edge when Simone starts seeing another man and he decides to use her as his next test subject.

I was lead to The Swamp of the Ravens by this poster. Much like the video-store days of my youth, clever and beautifully morbid artwork have steered me wrong in the best way possible. While very, very far from obscure Spanish horror perfection, the film does deliver on the fog-enshrouded swamp and the ravens. Well, there are some ravens. Mostly, the swamp is populated by buzzards. Anyway, let’s get down to business.

The eerie mood and the sickening tone of this film communicate one thing: death is everywhere. I still can’t believe that director Manuel Caño is the same guy who brought us the inept and idiotic Voodoo Black Exorcist. He really outdoes himself here by taking a film with a lame, somewhat confusing, and tired plot and filling it with an atmosphere so heavy, it’s suffocating. A classic horror tale unfurling in a somnambulitic 70s haze? Oh, I’m already there, duder. Oh yeah, and that badass cinematography comes from Manuel Merino of Horror Rises from the Tomb and Vampyros Lesbos.

Most of the cast doesn’t do much for me but the intense Ramiro Oliveros (Cannibal Apocalypse, The Pyjama Girl Case) works as Dr. Frosta. And Fernando Sancho makes for a great police inspector who perfectly delivers some dark humor. Marcia Bichette is pretty good as Dr. Frosta’s imperiled girlfriend but only shines when it’s time for her to scream.

The film’s fiery finale would be more satisfying if the damn thing had ended there. I won’t give anything away but let me just say that the final wrap-up is completely awful. Instead of a horde of Dr. Frosta’s zombies going on a rampage we get something much, much cheaper. Oh well, can’t win ’em all! Another unfortunate misstep is that The Swamp of the Ravens has a pretty slow pace but I barely even noticed because this flick is so grim and so odd. What’s that? Necrophilia and a (supposedly) real autopsy? Now, you’ve got my attention!

“I don’t like buzzards. They are birds of death.”

The Ken Foree Interview

kenforee

To horror fanatics and zombie enthusiasts, Ken Foree is best known for playing the indomitable Peter Washington in the original Dawn Of The Dead. However, Ken has been working steadily for nearly three decades in television and film. From playing Roger Rockmore on “Keenan and Kel” to Leroy Brown in Stuart Gordon’s From Beyond, he’s done it all. Recently, Ken landed a role in Rob Zombie’s The Devil’s Rejects as Charlie Altamont. Luckily for me, Ken took the time for an interview with Doomed Moviethon.

Doomed Moviethon: Who is Charlie Altamont?

KF: Charlie Altamont is one of the Firefly family. He’s Captain Spalding’s brother. He is a character who is not violent or at least not murderous. He is a more of a scam man than anything else. He’s a jackleg business man, in other words, he moves from business to business, all of which are on the edge of illegality. He usually ends up going to jail or gets his brother in trouble and they go to jail. Or get caught in a scam he can’t get out of or a scheme that doesn’t work out but they have a lot of fun. He’s that kind of guy. No one you want to bring home to family dinner. No one you want to introduce your mom to but he’s not going to slash your throat either. That’s Charlie.

DM: It looks like he’s running a strip joint or a whorehouse in The Devil’s Rejects.

KF: Charlie’s big idea was that it was supposed to be a frontier fun resort. He was going broke so he thought, “What can I do to bring up revenues?” He says, “Hey, what about a whorehouse? A whore ranch? A whore town? Oh that’s it.” And that’s how he came with it. They have the little town that’s full of whores and little interesting things. Quite disgusting but quite humorous if you’re a guy and you can laugh. And hope your wife doesn’t smack your face.

DM: What kind of research did you do for the character or did you just channel your inner pimp?

KF: My inner pimp! [Laughs] Well, I guess we all have an inner pimp somewhere. I don’t know where mine is? Charlie is not necessarily a good pimp. Even though he ends up being a pimp for this period of his life, this is probably a five year deal before he’s out again doing something else. Maybe an insurance agency or selling bibles door to door. In terms of research, I really researched it as a guy that is a marketer, does scamming, and has a background like Charlie has. That gave me plenty of choices to make on how to form the character and then get into it.

DM: How was the Devil’s Rejects shoot? Any difficulties?

KF: No, absolutely not. One of the best times I’ve ever had on a shoot. Great caterer, great crew, and just nice people all the way around. A classy group of people and it was a joy to come to work everyday. I wish it could have gone on and on and I would do it again in a heartbeat.

DM: Recently, some excised gore footage from the R-rated version of From Beyond was recovered. Also, I’ve seen the censored scenes from Leatherface: Texas Chainsaw Massacre III. What’s your take on film censorship, especially in horror movies?

KF: It’s kind’s of crazy when you talk about censorship in horror movies. When we came out with Dawn Of The Dead, the censors went wild. They came up with an X-rating, or an un-rating, or something like that. It was a big brouhaha. I think censorship is important. I think we can’t just let just anything on screen influence those who may not be ready to digest what they’re seeing visually. I’d hate to have an eight year old or a five year old kid see some of the stuff that I’m famous for. You don’t want kids exposed to certain kinds of material. It’s not time for them yet. But yeah, the censorship goes a little crazy.

I know they’ve got to have it, I know that everybody goes through it. I know that depending on how well you fight, the lawyers you’ve got, how long of a fight you put up, what you might be able to sneak in, and how much they let you get in, they’re going to hold strongly against things that they have absolute objections to. I think it’s a necessary evil. I think censorship is something we all have to go through. I don’t think they’re always right and I think they can demand a lot. It’s politics. You get a guy on a great day, his kid got an A in school or he got a raise, he’ll say “Okay, I’ll work with you on this and we’ll work it out”. If they guy has a horrible day or a horrible week, you might end up on the short end of the stick. It’s like a civil servant’s job. Just hope that you get the right civil servant. [Laughs]

DM: Any experiences from your work on From Beyond you’ld like to share?

KF: I was in Rome. My first time overseas. Brian Yuzna and Stuart Gordon had just finished Re-Animator. Barbara Crampton, Jeffrey Combs, and Ted Sorel, we were all there. It was one of the more interesting shoots of my life. We had a fairly good time. I went through every motion you can imagine from getting a very bad cold to injuring my back. A lot of stuff happening during that shoot that was crazy. Fell in love with Rome, of course. Yuzna took very good care of us. Stuart owes me a bet for 3,500 lira and one day I’ll collect from him.

DM: You played Benny in Leatherface: Texas Chainsaw Massacre III where I heard there was a lot of producer interference with the film. How was the shoot? Any tension?

KF: Jeff Burr covered that up very well while we were shooting. He just made sure that we were doing what we were supposed to do, getting shots out, and getting the job done. I didn’t hear about the real problems until much later on when they went into editing and that kind of thing. First thing was that they spelled my name wrong in the credits. Instead of Ken Foree, it was Ken Force! That was one of the first things that I noticed. Then I heard about all the people having problems and wanting their names taken off of it. Then people changing it. I had to go back as a matter of fact, I had to come back and shoot another scene.

DM: Yeah, Benny just comes back at the end of the film.

KF: I was in the pool with R.A. Mihailoff getting my head cut with a chainsaw then the next thing I’m back driving the car to save Kate Hodge from the maniac killers. It was an interesting shoot. We killed a lot of rattlesnakes up there behind Magic Mountain. Kate Hodge I really liked and one of the nicest ladies I’ve ever worked with. Bill Butler was in it and that was fun having him in it. Viggo Mortenson was in it and he’s a gentleman and a good guy. One of the best guys I’ve ever met. Clu Gulager’s wife, Miriam Byrd-Nethery, played the mom of the crazy family in the movie. Joe Unger and I knew each and he was in it. It wasn’t bad and it was fun. A lot of people I knew working together and trying to get a job done.

I heard about the politics of that thing only afterwards. I knew something was going to happen but I didn’t know what it was. I thought “What can I do?” They paid me and they told me to leave. [Laughs] As an old acting friend of mine told me once, while he was working in Vancouver, that he called the producers to get an extra day in a hotel because he thought he was owed it because of his contract. The guy in L.A. told him “We’re through with you, get out!” But that’s what being an actor is about. Unless you helped produce a film or run a studio then you don’t have any power what’s going to happen to a movie. How it’s going to be cut, etc. So yes, I heard some things about what happened to TCM III but only after it was already out.

DM: Do you have any aspirations to write or direct?

KF: I have been told that my true talent is writing. I first wrote something as a joke. A Christmas present for family members using their names as the characters. Along with the other presents, I would send this horrible script. Next thing, I got into the story development thing and all of a sudden, one of the vice presidents of HBO said it was one of the five best scripts they’d read. The Twentieth Century Fox head of development said they wanted it first when it was finished. I was getting writer’s crazy, writing 8 hours a day so it went from a joke, to a bigger joke, to a mini-series. I took it around to a few people. The former head of CBS and NBC, about ten different people I took it to. About 99.9% of the people said “Yeah, this is great, you could do this as a mini-series.” But that’s when I got the big head and said, “Well, I really want to do this as a movie.” When you get the opportunity, bite. Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth, just go ahead and get on the ride. I wrote a situation comedy to see if I had any talent outside of the docu-drama. It was also well received. I’ve written an action adventure and a police story.

Then a restaurant opportunity came into my midst and it was such a great deal. If I told you what the deal was, you’d say “What is it, I’d like to invest?” It was that impressive and that alluring so I put the scripts down for a minute thinking I’ll come back to my acting career. Well, three and a half years later, after I’d been beaten and mauled by the restaurant industry, I came back.

At this point I’m writing [Sighs] a zombie film. It’s a particular piece that I want to get out there that’s zombie related. Hopefully, you know every time I turn around somebody’s got the same idea I’ve got. I’m sorry I’m just going to have to put it out there. They can accuse me of plagiarism or whatever, I’m tired of changing mine. Mine starts on an island and I read the script of the remake of Dawn Of The Dead, which ends on an island. So I was very upset by that since I was already on my way. There were zombies plotting and zombies able to launch campaigns and I hear that George Romero is coming out with that in Land Of The Dead. [Laughs] What can you do? I have my ideas and I just didn’t get mine out first. I’m glad that they have theirs out there, the Dawn Of The Dead remake, and certainly George’s as well. Very happy about that. I’ve just got to get mine out there. So there’s your question, yes, I am writing.

DM: I was familiar with your work on “Keenan and Kel” but I had no idea about the extent of your television appearances with everything from “Kojak” to “Matlock” to “X-Files”. Do you enjoy working in television or are you just trying to pay the bills?

KF: Oh no, I always enjoy working in television. Like being on the stage, you really feel the feel the charge, the electricity, and the creative juices flow and the audience helps you make that happen. There’s something different about being in front of the camera. You don’t have the audience there but you’re still looking for that creative connection with your fellow actors that make a scene very special. Some of the work I had to do because I had to pay my mortgage. Some things I wish I didn’t take, some things I’d like to burn. But some others like an episode of “Hunter” I did where I only grunted “Guilty!” because I’d had my vocal chords cut. And they nominated that for an Emmy and I enjoyed it. It was one of my better performances. I enjoy television and I would still like to get involved in a long series.

DM: What was “Report To Murphy”, a sitcom with Michael Keaton?

KF: There were a lot of good people in it. I did four episodes, one of which revolved around my character, which I thought I was very good in. [Laughs] We had good people behind it but it just didn’t go. So, I’ve been around. I’ve done Soap Operas, Comedy, Dramas where I’ve played cops and robbers. I’ve even been a voice on Sandra Bernhard’s “Without You I’m Nothing”. I’ve been around and I don’t think they even know where to place me. “Where do we put this guy?”

I haven’t been typecast to one genre. Everybody says, “Oh, you’re always the bad guy.” No, not really. I’ve been the good guy as much as the bad guy. They say, “Oh, you always do horror films.” Yeah, but I don’t always do horror films. I do comedy sometimes and sometimes I’m good at it. I do sitcoms. It’s not like I do horror films and sci-fi as the staple of my career. I wish it had have been. In many cases, where many people had it as their staple, it has been very good to them. Like Kane Hodder and Gunnar Hansen, they were Jason and Leatherface but they’ve been able to carry that on throughout their career. It’s nice to be the hero but I’d like to be a monster once.

DM: Your voice is now forever captured in the world of video games with Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas. Did you enjoy voice acting and would you take more video game or animation offers?

KF: Oh, absolutely. Two of the fields I think I should explore more. I’ve been often told that I should do voiceovers since I have the pipes, or rather, the timber, for it. I want to get something ready for animation, I certainly would like to do one of the Anime characters. Voiceovers are fun and doing San Andreas was fun.

DM: If you chose the right Anime series, you’d be set. Some of them go for years with 50 or 100 episodes.

KF: Well, put in the good word for me. [Laughs] I certainly am looking for one. That would be great.

DM: What kind of upcoming projects can we expect to see you in?

KF: That’s what I’m starting to work on now. People are talking to me now and want me to sign letters of intent to a lot of stuff. There’s nothing that I can say definitely right now. There are people that say they have money here and there. As of yet, I’ve seen no bonded money yet. As an actor you learn not to count anything until the first check is cashed. So, I hear a lot and there are things that are circulating. Things that I can’t really talk about now because they might not come together. Most of them are horror but there is an American revolutionary thing there as well. I can talk about The Darkness Between The Stars because we were practically there. If we can get that done, it will be great for sci-fi and horror. I’m working on so many other things like getting this script written. My hands are full and my head is swimming. So many things in the works. My next project is to find my next project.

DM: Well, Ken, I really appreciate you talking to me today. Good luck on getting the next big thing together.

KF: Thanks. I appreciate that and it’s been good talking to you, Richard.

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A huge Doomed Moviethon thanks goes out to Ken for granting us our first interview for the site. Be sure to check out Ken Foree’s website for more information on one hell of a career and one hell of a nice guy. Don’t forget to check out the Devil’s Rejects site as well.

That Freudstein House!

thatfredusteinhouse

Let me go ahead and show my hand here. Lucio Fulci’s The House by the Cemetery (from 1981) is my favorite film of all time. It’s not just my favorite horror film. It’s my favorite film. Period. Exclamation mark. While The Beyond is a bigger spectacle and Don’t Torture a Duckling is a better film, the tale of Dr. Freudstein, for my money, represents the best of Fulci’s gory golden age. I’m also particularly attached to this film because it reminds me so much of autumn. You see, I live in Tampa and fall around here just means more summer so anything that can jumpstart my autumnal heart is essential. Think of this as Fulci’s It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown except the pumpkins are rotting corpses and Linus Van Pelt is Bob Doyle, the most irritatingly dubbed kid in the history of Italian horror cinema.

In the film, Dr. Norman Boyle (Paolo Malco of New York Ripper) is called to continue the work of Dr. Peterson, a colleague who killed himself while researching old houses in Boston. Norman, his wife Lucy (Catriona MacColl of City of the Living Dead) and their young son Bob (Giovanni Frezza) relocate to Boston for six months so that he can finish his work. Almost immediately, Bob meets and befriends a little ghost girl named Mae (Silvia Collatina) who warns him not to go into the house? What house? Why the Freudstein house, of course!

A crooked realtor named Laura Gittleson (Dagmar Lassander of The Frightened Woman) sets up the Boyle family for a whole mess of trouble by putting them in the former home of Dr. Freudstein, a place where people have been dying violently and/or disappearing. It turns out that Norman’s former colleague was so obsessed with Dr. Freudstein, a mad scientist who was exiled from the medical community 80 years prior, that he committed suicide. In walks Ann the babysitter (Ania Pieroni), apparently sent over by Laura to look after Bob.  Lucy can’t help but notice Ann’s bizarre demeanor but Norman can’t be bothered.

Strange noises echo throughout the house and Lucy (who is already hopped up on mood stabilizers anyway) begins to lose her grip on her sanity. In order to help his wife keep her shit together, Norman agrees to go into the basement that has remain locked the entire time. While Lucy and he are down there, they are assaulted by a bat that looks like turds and fur with a pair of wings. The bat latches onto Norman’s hand; he then rushes upstairs and starts stabbing the thing with a kitchen knife. He appears to be taking great joy slaughtering the thing and flings blood all over the place including Bob (who looks just a tad shell-shocked by the spectacle).

That evening, while the Boyle fam is at the doctor, Laura the shitty realtor shows up when everyone is out and gets royally killed to death by an unseen Dr. Freudstein who drags her body down to the basement. The following morning, Ann is wiping up the blood but nobody notices because… um… the coffee is ready. As it starts to look like she may be in on the conspiracy of murders, Ann gets her friggin’ head chopped off which Bob sees rolling down the stairs. Of course, Lucy can’t find any evidence of the babysitter’s decapitation and convinces him it all just in his imagination.

To make sure that his college fund is a complete waste of time, Bob decides to head down to the basement that night and search for Ann (or at least her head). This time, Bob comes face to face with Dr. Freudstein and the charnel house that he has made of the basement. Norman, armed with proof that Freudstein is alive and using human remains to recharge his cells, and Lucy, armed with a mother’s love, rush to Bob’s rescue. But are they too late to save their irritating little boy? And more importantly, just who will save them?

Seems pretty straight forward, right? Well, it ain’t. There is so much more to this moody gorefest that every time I watch it, I have to wonder what planet it came from. Frequent Fulci collaborator, Sergio Salvati, is a fantastic cinematographer and doesn’t miss a beat here. The man knows how to pick up the minutest details and knows when to slap on the old fish eye lens to distort the truly terrifying sequences. Salvati is also complicit in feeding Fulci’s eye fetish and there are many, many close-ups of peepers. He also captures the amazing Freudstein house in all of its exterior Massachusetts glory (interiors filmed in Rome). It’s such an amazing house, I want to live there- oh fuck me, is that a tombstone built INSIDE the house? I still want to live there.

You’d think that child actors would get dubbed by child voice actors but no, that’s too expensive. Bob and Mae’s voices are provided by adults pretending to be children and they are both outrageously irritating. Bob wins out as the most annoying dubbing job in Italian horror history (his only rival is Marco in Mario Bava’s Shock). But screw the dubbing, all that matters is that Catriona MacColl’s trademark scream comes through loud and clear in this flick. Oh, I better mention the soundtrack by Walter Razatti. The House by the Cemetery has the quintessential early 80s horror score with a bevy of eerie synthesizer and piano pieces.

Lapses in logic and obtuse exchanges between characters make for a confounding viewing experience the first time around but after you let the magic set in, it all makes sense. Okay, maybe ‘sense’ is too strong of a word. The embodiment of incomprehensibility is Ann the babysitter. Ann is played by the captivating Ania Pieroni whom you may remember from Dario Argento’s Inferno where she played another weird role as the Mother of Tears. What the hell is the secret that Norman and Ann seem to share? Why does Norman deny that the Freudstein house looks exactly like the one in the photo hanging in his office? Why is Lucy on crazy pills? Can we trust her? Why doesn’t Bob get run over by a car in the first five minutes of the film and spare us the pain of listening to his ass-feather voice? The answer to all of these questions comes in the explanation of how Dr. Freudstein has stayed alive all these years: “He needs human victims to renew his cells.”  Well, aren’t you satisfied?

As soon as we see down in that basement with all those chunks of people scattered all over the place, my eyes light up like it’s my 10th birthday forever. While I did pick this flick up in a bargain DVD bin for chump change back in 2003, the basement sequences feel so strangely familiar that I keep trying to convince myself I’ve seen this before. Some of my favorite childhood memories are fighting insomnia by catching horror movies in the small hours. Two of the most important were Joe D’Amato’s Rosso Sangue AKA Horrible and Girls Nite Out (the one where the killer wears a bear costume). Could it be that I tuned in just in time to see Bob and his mom desperately trying to evade the rotting grasp of Dr. Freudstein?

Well, if I first discovered this film when I was just a pup or not until my mid-20s makes very little difference. The House by the Cemetery has a zombified mad scientist, a grand old haunted house, a ghost with psychic abilities (is that special or do they all have them?), numerous gore setpieces, and a plethora of themes and hidden meanings to explore and dissect. Add all that up and you’ve got one seriously essential piece of Italian gore-art. The house awaits you; creaky doors, an inch of dust, cobwebs, intestines, and all. Come for the splatter but stay for the intangible horrors and the unmistakable Lucio Fulci-ness of it all. And I tell you, good people, that gory and bleak finale is one of the most satisfying in all of horror filmdom. If you call yourself a horror fan, then check this one out. Or else.

Zeder

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Zeder AKA Revenge of the Dead (1983)

After receiving a used typewriter for an anniversary present, Stefano (Gabriele Lavia) discovers a bizarre treatise on raising the dead imprinted on the ribbon. He convinces his wife, Alessandra (Anne Canovas), and his best friend, Guido (Alessandro Partexano), to aid him in his search for the “K Zones”, areas where the dead return to life. Meanwhile, a group of scientists are conducting their own research in this phenomenon with deadly results. As Stefano gets closer to finding the truth, he uncovers a conspiracy which someone is willing to kill in order to keep hidden.

Pupi Avati (The House with the Laughing Windows) directs this superb and very odd little horror film. The eccentricities of Zeder come mainly from how the film never really moves when and in what direction you expect it to. Even the brilliant (though wholly bizarre) soundtrack by Riz Ortolani (Seven Deaths in the Cat’s Eye) defies expectations by laying out a Goblin-like bass riff that gives way to a seriously maladjusted string arrangement.

The plot gets shaky as the scenes with the scientists don’t quite gel with those of Stefano. I think the problem lies in the amount of mystery surrounding their research. I’m glad the film doesn’t go too far explaining every little detail but I’m just left wanting more. I like it when movies do that.

Gabriele Lavia (Deep Red, Beyond the Door) plays Stefano, another one of Avati’s damned heroes (see Laughing Windows), perfectly. It is amazing to watch Lavia as Stefano, this obsessive character who becomes intrigued by a mystery only to be totally consumed by it. Another doomed individual is Dr. Goodman, played by Paola Tanziani, whose contact with the undead left her physically and emotionally scarred. I really dig this actress and it astounds me that didn’t make anymore films after this one.

Wow, Zeder has slowly crawled its way into my top ten favorite Italian horror films of all time. I rented this film under the misleading Revenge of the Dead title at my local video store when I was a kid and it really didn’t sit well with me. Aside from disappointment of the zombie onslaught the VHS cover art promised, I was genuinely creeped out by this one. Zeder managed to stay with me years after watching it. The idea that death is a patient creature willing to let you sprint ahead only to catch you the moment you collapse combined with its amusement at humankind’s futile attempts to escape the inevitable is some dang creepy shit.

What we’ve got here is Zeder, an atypical zombie film. Sure, there’s a couple of undead creatures wreaking havoc in Bologna but don’t expect any brain-eating, flesh-eating, or gunshots to the head. Like I said before, this film does not behave in a normal horror movie manner but that is exactly what makes it so awesome. Patient viewers will be rewarded with a sense of dread that only the Italians know how to deliver. Nice job, Pupi.

Ghoul School

ghoulschool-1990

Ghoul School (1990)

A couple of criminals sneak into a high school to shake down the janitor for some money he owes them. They accidentally unleash a toxic chemical into the water supply. Two horror movie fans, Steve (played by William Friedman) and Jeff (Scott Gordon), discover that their school’s swim team has been turned into flesh-eating zombies. Just as they are about to make their escape, they realize that the metal band, The Bloodsucking Ghouls, are still in the auditorium, practicing for the school dance. Steve and Jeff make their way back through the zombie-infested school in order to rescue the band.

Holy crap! What an utterly hideous viewing experience! Now just hold on a sec, there’s something important here. If you revel in the extreme mullets, the odious fashions, and the cheesed-out heavy metal of the 1980s then Ghoul School might just be for you. The film is as cheap as they come (but they had squibs!) with performances only a mother could love. Keep your eyes peeled for legitimate cheeseball Ivan Sergei as the worst basketball player on Earth and character actor Richard Bright as Principal Kaplan (my favorite character).

Ghoul School comes to a grinding halt very early on once Joe Franklin and Jackie “The Joke Man” Martling have a scene together. The excuse for the film to feature Franklin is thin enough already (he is the speaker at a pep rally?) without an extended scene of he and Martling shticking it up. What high school student is able to appreciate the subtle comedic styling of Joe Franklin? I’m serious. The jump cuts indicate that this scene between these two jokers was probably even longer than it turned out here and that is some scary shit. Somehow the film recovers.

Elements of Return of the Living Dead and Class of Nuke ‘Em High are liberally borrowed but that’s only part of the problem. The fact that they play the same punk song over many of the gore scenes doesn’t help matters much and EVERYONE’S SHOUTING. However, those of you out there who seek out all this straight-to-video junk, Ghoul School will have its merits. The film has its own dumb energy that keeps right on through until the end but most viewers will walk away wondering why they bothered. Watch at your own risk.